Monday, June 29, 2009

Reds Offense Takes Boom Stick to Indians, 8-1

After beginning the series in forgettable fashion, Harang getting shelled and offense, or awfense as I just put together, failed to put much together for the final two games of the series with the Indians, Reds looked pretty, pretty good. And they've got three with the Snakes at home coming up. Look out three games over .500.

Chris Welsh just couldn't say enough about Homeboy's start on Saturday. He doesn't care about the walks, even if there were seven of them against just two strikeouts, as long as the final result is in the Reds favor. The Reds Rocket agrees with that sentiment to some extent but still feels that seven walks doesn't necessarily qualify as a quality start. At least he only gave up the three hits and did get his first win in two years. Nice job Homer. I know they have an off day today, obviously, so, am not sure when the fifth starting position is going to roll around again. I am interested in seeing one more start from Bailey with his new splitter. Is there anything that Justin Lehr doesn't know? Other than how Major Leagues that is.

The picture above is from Jonny Gomes' days with the Rays. Nice hat. I believe you call that a sombrero in Spanish. Uno sombrero. Gomes went deep Sunday and seems to be enjoying the DH role. It's too bad he is so below average in the field, or he could be a real asset. I suspect we'll still see a good amount of Jonny in left, just don't ask Laynce Nix about it. He doesn't care for latin headwear or people who take playing time away from him. Phillips also had a nice day yesterday and and Bruce, over Saturday and Sunday, was 3 for 8 with a bomb off Tomo Ohka, which should realistically only count 1/2. I had to tally those numbers myself, so check the math. For your daily Ray Jay average update, that is now .214. Pretty soon you're going to look up there and see .230 and be very impressed. Micah Owings decided to show up yesterday and threw 6 solid innings. His pitch count was still near 110 but at least he made it through 6.

Reds have Haren tomorrow and he's been pitching well but Arroyo is also on the hill and he's always lights out. The Reds Rocket expects nothing less than a sweep. The Snakes are horrible. On a brief sidenote, just to demonstrate Arizona's general ineptness, yesterday during the 5th inning the Diamondbacks had a dropped routine fly ball in left by Upton, a ball roll through the legs of Felipe Lopez at second and a first baseman, Mark Reynolds superstar yesterday, simply miss a throw from a fielded groundball to second, which hit him in the chest. All in one inning. I think you're going to like what you see on Tuesday. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Friday, June 26, 2009

Reds Play Good, Then Bad, Then Good Again, Reds 7-5

Votto appears to be fully recovered from the mental health month he took. He was out there raking last night in front of his home town fans. Pretty impressive line, 4 for 5 with a bomb and three driven in. When the boxscore shows two guys in the middle of the order with averages over .350, the reds offense looks a little less poor. I am certain that Gomes is, in fact, a .350 hitter and will be there for the rest of the year.

The entire offense looked pretty good last night, with the exception of Phillips. But he's generally pretty reliable, so he can take a night off when the rest of those jokers decide to pick up some hits. And let me tell you bout Willy Taveras, three hits? That guy can flat out concentrate at the plate. I think it's all the private tutoring with Dusty. 'Willy, put on your swimming suit and get in the hot tub.' That squeeze bunt was pretty sweet.

Cueto, as Cowboy discussed for about three innings, seems to lose focus when the Reds present him with too big of lead. He was dominant for 5 of the 6 innings he pitched last night but walked two guys and gave up three hits in the 5th to allow the Jays to slime back into it. But Votto's bomb picked him up and Cueto was given his seventh win of the season. The Reds need to remember not to give him more than a two run cushion, then he will pitch effectively. Any more than that and he's giving up bombs to Scott Podsednik.

Reds start things up with the Redmen today, so, expect a sweep. I know I am. I already have a picture of a broom tricking some Native Americans out of their land. They don't understand the concept of land ownership but that broom sure does. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Reds Play Quite Well - Not, Blue Jays 8-2

Arroyo returned to his favorite venue last night and got lit up again by the Blue Jays. It was 5-0 before he recorded an out. He did manage to go 3 and 2/3rds, which is an improvement over last year. So, maybe next time he's in Toronto he'll go 5 and only give up 6 runs. At least, as pointed out by a comment to the last post, he spreads a lot of seed and appears, at least by big league pitcher standards, to be relatively fit. He's really got a lot going for him. Now if he could just quit tipping his curveball to the Blue Jays, he'd really have it all.

The offense was, what's the word, awful, again. Four hits off Scott/Larry/Pepe Richmond is simply unacceptable. Not that they're necessarily going to come back from the deep hole they found themselves in, but how about sprinkling in a couple of hits here and there. The foregoing, of course, does not apply to mainman Jonny Gomes. We here at the Reds Rocket have learned to overlook the lack of 'h' in your name, in fact this is the last time we'll draw attention to it. Two more hits last night and he's looking like a borderline viable power option in the outfield. Danny Richar also got a chance to play and picked up a hit. Looks like Dusty's decided, in likely a very unpopular decision, that Tavares should not be out there every day. Dickerson has gotten two consecutive starts and looks suspiciously like he may have figured some things out after his rough patch in the beginning of the season. But, I'm sure Dusty has everything under control. No reason for me to put any more thought into it.

Reds wrap things up in Toronto today. Someone ask Joey Votto about his family, see what he says. Play better today Reds.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Reds Lose to Pederast, Jays 7-4

Good news, however, is Joey Votto has returned to the lineup. But the continued bad news is the Reds' offense, aside from the 7th didn't look any better than they did in Joey's absence. You choose: inept or impotent. I'll go with impotent because it conotes that the Reds offense cannot get an erection, which is too bad because that is an important part of a happy existence. Regardless, Votto had one hit, weakly the other way but it was his first game back. Bruce doubled in two in the 7th with a shot off a lefty. Actually looked like he knew what he was doing. Everyone's friend Hal McCoy said that of everyone, Bruce missed Votto the most because they're batting practice partners and Votto's absence directly corresponded with Bruce's major slump. Hopefully that's not the case, the Reds already have enough sensitive players.

Owings was not very good last night. Without his bat in the lineup there isn't much of which to look forward every fifth day. He heads out there, throws a ton of pitches and if the ball isn't diving he gets hits hard. Yesterday he gave up a home run to Marco Scutero, which hurts. And Rod Barajas. Maybe the old Dusty Bottoms should consider a three-man rotation until Volquez is back, which actually, may be pretty soon. Talk it over with Dick Pole, he is very insightful.

Arroyo takes the hill today. Last year, as you likely recall, he pitched a very fine ballgame. Just to 10 earned in 1 plus innings. Not bad at all. The Reds official site already had an article about it. Arroyo says he hopes to give up 20 in one-third of an inning today. I think he can do it.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Reds Lose but Look Good Doing it, White Sox 4-1

The Reds looked pretty solid for about 12 of the 27 innings at home against the Cracker Sox. Arroyo pitched pretty well in the opener and the Reds offense staked Cueto to a five-run lead on Saturday before he handed it all back. Nobody showed up yesterday, they were out late the night before celebrating the 8 runs scored. It happens some times, nice effort you guys.

That marks two consecutive not excellent starts by Cueto. Sure, the line against the Royals featured no earned runs due to some White Sox-like defense, but he got knocked around a little bit and gave up 6. Saturday he gave up not only career home run number one to Gordon Beckham but Scott Podsednik, or Scotty Pods, took him out of the yard. Podsednik is scheduled for about 3 homers this season and he had one coming in. He'll need to spread those out or there are going to be some disappointed Chicagoans.

Harang had a tough first inning but straightened out and ended up pitching pretty well over seven, with only the 3 earned. He wasn't featuring the 93-94 mph fastball that he had during his rain-shortened outing versus Atlanta but that's okay, he threw pretty well. And the Chicago announcers' comments that with Volquez out, the Reds don't have any 'good right-handed pitchers' isn't going to work for Aaron Harang. He monitors tapes all broadcasts, even the spanish ones, and adds names accordingly to his slow, painful death list.
Reds travel out of the country for Tuesday's game. Hal McCoy has predicted we see the return of Votto. They've drilled a small whole in his skull to let out all of the demons. He should be ready to go. Featured below is the starting pitcher for Toronto. Coincidentally, it's kids night at the ballpark.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Reds Ambushed By Proud Native People, Braves 7-0

Reds saved all of their suck for yesterday's game, underperforming both on the mound and at the plate. That allowed the savages to sneak back into the tall grass with a lone victory from the series. But still a series win and the Reds Rocket remains optimistic.

Baloney wasn't all that great and Fisher certainly didn't help him out by allowing the guys he left behind to cross the plate. Get the pitcher out is the general rule for relievers. And I certainly don't want to imply that Baloney isn't great, because he is, really great but that may have been his last start in Cincinnati for a while. Tough break for the big old salad tosser.

In addition to the traitorous bullpen, the offense didn't help Baloney out either. Five hits all day again a guy who'd been pretty good in the minors but awful in his first two starts and some guy from Australia? That is not the powerful Reds offense I've been so used to for these past two weeks. Evidently, Votto's brain is slowly on the mend, as he headed to Floriday to start with his rehab. Though, I'm unsure how you mend a broken brain. His return should help quite a bit. And, apparently, Eddie Encarnacion is taking some batting practice and is on the right path back to return. I can't remember if everyone still hates him during Rosales' extended struggles. Probably, that guy's a real asshole.

Marty had the day off yesterday, so Thombo filled in on the radio and lost interest in calling the game about the 4th inning. He sure does have a lot of opinions. Especially about flying on private jets. For those of you who have moved into the current century and do not listen to the games on this thing called "the radio", Thom Brennaman is employed by a company which provides private airline flights to 'average people.' It is both cost efficient and allows you to spend more time with your horrible wife. So, think about that next time you're driving to Dayton, you could be flying with Thom Brennaman.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Micah Owings Does Bat With Balls, Reds 4-3

Reds won their second in a row last night (hot streak!) over the Savages. Sure they only got four hits all night and one of them, which may have lead to the winning margin, was by the starting pitcher, but its still a win. And Ray Jay tied a season high with a two-game hitting streak when he took one out of the yard in the second.

Aside from Owings ripping the three-run shot out to right, he didn't pitch all that poorly, comparatively anyway. He was able to last 6 innings, which is positive. The fact he didn't strike anyone out and it still took him 107 pitches to make it that far is moderately troubling but still, quality start. Masset was poor for the second consecutive outing, but his ERA is still under 1.50 and the rest of the pen was pretty good. Coco went with his trademark walk before retiring the side. Baloney gets his first win today and the sweep is secured. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Last night while watching Baseball Tonight, I saw a familiar face, or photo, underneath the telephone section of the program. Dusty Baker. They were asking him questions about steroids, whether or not all of the names should be released. He said as long as there aren't any current Reds on that list, he's cool with that. As the person most-knowledgeable on all subjects, the Reds Rocket was not surprised that ESPN would be interested in what Dusty had to say.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Nix Reminds Team That Hits Are Typically Necessary to Score Runs, Reds 7-2

Harang got cheated out of a win yesterday but he remained positive. 'It just makes me want to go out and murder a family - one with several small children' he said after the game. That's the right attitude Aaron. In the rare game that he actually hit 95 on the gun, inflated or not, it's too bad he didn't get to stay out there a little longer.

But the rain, which seems to follow the Reds around like that animated circle who dealt with chronic depression in the Zoloft commercials, forced everyone to take a break for a little while. When everyone reemerged, Danny Ray was on the hill and pitched a nice three innings for his first career win. Masset and Weathers were not sharp but everyone else was.

The bats finally woke up a little bit. The recap said that it was the first time in 11 games that they had scored more than 4 runs. That was a nice streak the Reds had going and I am disappointed to see it end. Nix had three hits and drove in three. Phillips had three of hit own. And Willy Taveras, nice to see you again. Solid 1 for 5 night, though with a stolen base. As terrible as Patterson was and will continue to be, he hit a shade under .200 but showed a little power. Perhaps the Independent League, or Dairy Queen, wherever he's at, would be interested in a attractive trade offer. Reds continue to beat on the savages today. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Reds Gives Me Pains in My Head that Makes it Hard to Live, Royals 7-1

In a rare contribution from Dr. Tiffee, he found the accompanying picture of headpain and suggested the tag line which appropriately summed up the weekend for Reds supporters.

For the past couple of seasons, the Reds have been part of a series where they have stated affirmatively that, from this point henceforth, we are no going to compete for the division title. You can continue to support the team if you like, but, inevitably, should you choose to do so, you will be disappointed. Last year, it was the sweep in Washington, this year, possibly, could be this last trip to Kansas City.

The Reds don't have an opportunity to play the Royals very often, so it's kind of a treat. Last year it was series in Boston and New York/Yew Nork. And they didn't even see Greinke or Gil Meche. Meche is probably not even adequate but the offense was shut down by the rest of the horrible rotation. An 80-pitch complete game from Luke Hochevar? Yesterday, the Reds mixed things up, opting to go with horrible defense alongside bad offense. After an early 1-0 lead, all of Cueto's runs were unearned. Hairston made two errors at third but is still a better option, defensively anyway, than Rosales. Bruce made a play in right off a ball hit by Callaspo, then looked at his glove and unmade the play, pushing two more across in the third. So, everyone went home very disappointed, losing four straight to the Nationals and Royals.

The Reds Rocket feels it is very important at this point in the season to defer to the leadership of the captain of the ship. Skip. He wears batting gloves and knows Hank Aaron. He will tell that to the spanish-speaking gentlemen this in their native language. He is very wise, and to continue with the descriptive ship language, will guide the Reds through the troubled waters they currently find themselves in. Captain Dusty is very wise.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Reds Bullpen Has a Heart, Lets Nats Have One, Washington 3-2

I listened to the Reds game yesterday and as Owings allowed the first runner of each inning to reach base Marty sounded like he wanted to go out on the field and choke him out "and here we go again." But very few of those runs scored, in fact only one and that was after Micah had already retired to the clubhouse with some men on base. Burton made sure that at least one scored, though, Hairston realistically had a play at the plate had he chosen that option. I already miss Burton's fancy beard but he is convinced that was the reason behind his one-day demotion.

Just as I finally put a photo of Masset up he contributes to a loss, or was at least on the hill when the Reds decided that they didn't want to win. He induced a 3-1 groundball from Zimmerman but the Reds couldn't roll it over and Rosales was thinking about the baby rabbits that were gathered outside his hotel room and let the ball get by him. They were just adorable. Tough break team but at least the Royals are next and the non-sweep of the Nats ensures that the Reds will win at least one of the games. Likely all three.

There will be no discussion of the offense until they agree to perform less poorly. We don't want to encourage this type of behavior by drawing additional attention to it. Bozos.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Reds Are indeed a Very Good Team, Reds 4-2

Long game last night for the Reds and the strongly supported Nationals. Harang dominated for seven and two-thirds then it started raining. And by the time Coco reemerged to try and finish the 9th, those fried gizzards he had during the two hours break had caught up with him. That teaches him a valuable lesson, just because the concessions tells you they are going to have to throw out the last 12 polish sausages if someone doesn't eat them, doesn't necessarily mean that you have to eat them. But he did and now his consecutive saves streak is over, against the Nationals. I hope you're happy with yourself.

As a Reds supporter in the Pacific Time Zone, I enjoyed the 9th inning rain followed by some additional baseball. Usually by 9 o'clock I'm stuck watching the Diamondbacks play the game the wrong way. But last night, after the initial disappointment of going to extras, I got to see some clutch hitting by big time Jonny Gomes and an add-on run from Hairston. This all followed 9 innings of bullshit. Three hits off of the Nationals staff is not the desired number. Though, two of those were well-hit ball by Ray-Jay Bruce. That average has reached .220 again. Looks like that day off sitting next to Dusty has really paid off. 'Jay, listen up...I know Hank Aaron. Remember that.'

For those of you who have been waiting for a Nick Masset photo to adorn a recap of a Reds game, that time has finally arrived. Masset has continued to be a very pleasant surprise out of the bullpen. The Reds Rocket will now deny that it ever advocated trying to sneak him through waivers when the spring let out and not caring whether or not he went elsewhere. He's been pretty dominant all year. Good for you Nick. I specifically recall the Prospectus entry about you which said, essentially, just because you throw hard doesn't mean you're any good. The nerds must have forgotten to carry a digit in their calculation. I am not sure whether or not I am in favor of a sweep today, since all sweeps are immediately succeeded by the Reds getting swept. Though I do like finding broom photos. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Reds Treat Nationals Like Worst Team in Baseball, Reds 3-2

Last year when the Reds made the trip to Washington, they were able to see the local attractions and eat at the city's many fine restaurants, but then they played less well than expected and were swept by the Nats. This year, Dusty told them no sights and no food other than sunflower seeds and gatorade and it appears to be working.

The offense continues to impress, putting up a solid three runs against a staff which is far and away the worst in baseball. Fortunately, Phillips bothered to knock in a couple with an rbi double which provided the margin. But Cueto didn't need it. He picked up his sixth win of the year with 7 very solid innings, the only blemish was the result of a long first inning. Artie considered letting the win slip away by giving up a bomb to Christian Guzman but Dusty was quick to kick his ass out of the game, allowing Weathers to come in and strike out Dukes, who went crazy and killed a concessionaire. Coco finished things off and the Reds went back to the hotel with at least one win in their series with a terrible team.

The game also served as a reunion for the remaining members of the 2008 team and Big Donk. They were able to ask him what it's like playing for a bad team, which is so far opposite of what he was doing in Cincinnati. He explained that it is very similar to his time in Arizona but certainly not Cincinnati. He was treated with so much respect during his time with the Reds, he will never forget it. He also promised not to get any hits for the series. He's a real stand-up guy.

Reds continue with the domination today. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Reds Select Leake With First Pick

Today, with the 8th pick in the draft, the Reds went with college junior Mike Leake out of ASU. As many of you may know, I reside in Arizona so would, seemingly, have something to notable to contribute. But, for those of you who are familiar with the site, outside of the fact I live in Arizona, know that the answer to the previous assumption is that I,of course, know no more than anyone who lives outside the state's boundaries. Sure, I look at the picture of him on the cover of sports page and think that he looks like a pretty cool guy but by the time I get to the text of the accompanying article, I remember that I'm running behind on my 16 hours of sleep that I need in order to function for the 8 hours of daily activity. I'm just too busy for that sort of thing. I will tell you that as I am writing this, I am wearing a Sun Devils shirt that I got for free. The maroon and gold matches my ghoulish appearance.

In a thorough review of Mr. Leake's statistics, the Reds Rocket concludes that the are certainly very impressive. 16-1 this year with an ERA under 2.00 in the PAC-10? That is, well, certainly something. The commenters used words like "gamer" and "bulldog" to describe this "big-game pitcher." Reds super-expert, Chris Buckley also spoke highly of Leake's pick-off move which is high on anyone's list when when evaluating talent. The bottom line appears to be a guy with a fastball that sits 88-93, with good to plus slider and change. The idea, obviously, is that his college polish will allow him to move quickly through the system and contribute some time in the relatively near future. As we all know Jocketty was pretty solid at developing talent in St. Louis and then getting rid of it before it reached the big leagues.

Coincidentally, sticking with the vegetable theme, the Reds Rocket rates the pick as "rutabaga" on the scale of delicious vegetables. A rutabaga tastes like a cross between an onion and a carrot so, clearly, quite delicious. We expect big things from him but probably not until next year. He needs a vacation to pick up some co-eds and then get treated for the many STD's floating around the pools at ASU. Nice to meet you Mike, don't be terrible.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Reds Take a Long Time to Lose Series to Cubs, Cubs 6-3

The Reds Rocket had a very important/boring meeting to attend on Friday regarding the future of the cracker factory, so was unable to fulfill its obligation to draft two paragraphs of spelling errors and incorrect punctuation. My sincere apologies that no one got to read about the Reds getting dominated by Carpenter and how much of a bozo he is. Next time around we'll talk about the series of arm surgeries he is undergoing.

Over the past couple of years, the Reds Rocket would not have been particularly disappointed with a series loss to a team who, at least at the beginning of the season, was predicted to be quite good. But, with all this winning, I've developed a taste for it and those close losses are particularly painful. On Friday, Reds only managed a single run against the crazy-ass Zambrano-lead Cubs. They had the tying run on third with less than two out, but didn't bother to send him the rest of the way. On Saturday, Baloney made his debut and was pretty good. Two absolute shots, but with no one on base, accounting for the two runs allowed. The Reds Rocket encourages him to continue turning towards the centerfield camera, after giving up bombs, and slowly mouthing, "Fuuuuucck." But, he missed out on that first major league win when Weathers melted down sending it to extras.

Yesterday, Arroyo gave up some early unearned runs when he tried to fire a double play ball into center but simmered, settled down and cooled out, and actually posted a pretty nice line of 7 with just the one earned. Of course the two earned runs were due to his error but they don't effect the ERA. That guy is always thinking. And the Reds showed a little fight, tying things up before Lincoln went all reliably bad on them in the late innings after everyone had gone home and fell asleep.

A trip to the nation's capital is on the itinerary for tomorrow. That will give the team a chance to catch up with old pals Donkey and Kearns. Actually, no one probably knows Kearns any more. The last guy on the team that was there when he was was the Donkey. But, at least the Nationals are terrible, expect a sweep and the Reds machine is back up and running.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Cueto's Been Drinking Green Tea All Day, He's Jacked Up, Reds 9-3

Cueto was too much for the feeble Cardinals offense last night. Sure, he didn't feel like going 7 for the first time in a long while, but he didn't need to. I'm pretty certain it was that quality bunt base hit that caused Lohse's arm to stiffen up, leading him to exit. That will be good today, as Carpenter is about due for a physical breakdown and the Cards will have to deal with the powerful Reds offense with a tired pen.

No one is making fun of the extra 'y' in Laynce Nix's first name now. He went deep twice last night and knocked in four. He, as this site was quick to predict, has been a nice addition to this offense. You might say, I remember the Reds Rocket terming Nix 'a nice guy who plays baseball like he has a mental deficiency,' but that was before the season started. Only suckers, or actual professionals, make predictions before the season starts. The Reds Rocket likes to see some action. So we don't look stupid (more stupid), see? Once Nix started hitting extra base hits, we were very strong supporters. And we will continue to be supporters for as long as he keeps raking. If and when he stops hitting, we will turn on him completely. So, keep it up Laynce, we're behind you as long as you're playing well, then completely against you.

Anyway, back to the game. Phillips hit a bomb, drove in three, and stole two bases. Bruce dropped his average down to .216 with an 0 for 4 night but everyone else in the lineup got a hit. Wilmy missed another game with a bad case of talentless-itis. Now you're up to date. Reds finish off the series today with Harang choking the life out of the small, red birds. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Arroyo Rocks, But Just a Little, Cardinals 5-2

Arroyo kept with the pattern of mixing in a sub-standard start after two good ones and last night the offense wasn't able to bail him out. Though they still think he's a really cool guy and would consider joining his band, if they can play lead guitar. Unless you're Keith Richards, no one knows or cares about the rhythm guitarist.

The loudmouth Cardinals scored 5 over Arroyo's 5+. Carlos Fisher, whom I think I have neglected to mention before this point, pitched less effectively than he had been, throwing a couple of pitches past Hanigan, handing the Cardinals their fifth run of the night.

The big news of the day was Volquez hitting the DL with a touch of the shoulder tendonitis. Apparently, that's what was making his fingers numb, not a stroke. A stroke is a brain attack. Team doctors estimated that he would be ready to go in 7-145 days. They just don't have much experience with these types of things. But, if I had to guess, which I'm going to do even though I probably don't actually have to, we'll see him in a couple of weeks. No baseball-related activity for 10 days Edinson. I'm serious about that. Reds beat the player for whom they acquired new hope Baloney today.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Volquez Can't Feel His Fingers, Reds Win 5-3

One inning into his triumphant return from back spasms, Edinson had to take another breather when he had a little minor numbness in the ring and pinkie fingers of his pitching hand. Nothing to be concerned about, everyone gets a little numbness now and again, especially in your fingers. Right? So, hopefully he won't miss any more starts but who knows, might be farm time for the next start.

But, of course Mike Lincoln picked him up with three solid innings of relief. He's been great all year. He was followed by Herrera for two and then Masset, Rhodes, and Coco. Those guys really did a bang-up job. That's an expression which isn't used enough. And how about that offense, actually carrying their weight? Against Todd Wellemeyer no less? That guy is lights out, so congratulations to the offense, notable Nix and Hanigan who each had a couple of hits. Hanigan is working towards having the lowest slugging percentage in one season while hitting over .330. He's on his way there.

Regarding the potential missed start by Volquez, we now appear to have two candidates: Bailey and Maloney. My friends on the Reds message board seem to be in favor of Maloney and in favor of Bailey being executed, the more painful the better. How about the iron maiden? Bleed for me Long Beach! As I am incapable of forming my own opinions, the nerds at Prospectus aren't big Maloney supporters. For a big guy he sure keeps that velocity down but he's fresh off a three-hit shutout of the SHelly Duncan-led Yankess affiliate. That's sure to translate to some major league success. Or maybe we'll see the recall of Dr. Weirdbeard Burton. He apparently has some problems with his brain that's affecting his ability to get people out. Especially with people on base. It's an epidemic in the Reds clubhouse. Arroyo picks up win number eight today with some Jon Garland-esque offensive support behind him. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Reds Given the Old Triple Belvedere, Brewers 5-2

This season, as I'm sure the knowledgeable readers of this site are aware, the Reds have swept two three-game series, the Snakes in Arizona and last week, the Astros at home. Both are then immediately succeeded by a three-game sweep at the hands of the opponents. At least this time it wasn't the Padres.

The Brewers, over the weekend, did a pretty convincing immitation of a team that's better than the Reds. Everyone knows that's not the case, even Uecker and probably Wesley, though he'd be less likely to admit it. Cueto gave up three hits on Friday and took the loss. Harang, for the second time in 4 starts, handed back a lead and took the loss Saturday. Yesterday, Owings forgot the importance of healthy breakfast and came out soft. He got things back under control, but the offense wasn't great. In fact, the 'o' as the author has overheard some very clever and interesting people say, was not very good all weekend. Phillips made a reappearance and hit a couple of bombs, which is nice to see, but it looks like the team misses their Canadian pal who's decided that he needs a couple weeks on the DL to cool out. The team has been very cryptic about the reasons, which is fine. The Reds Rocket is in favor of privacy rights, especially the identity of blog authors who may frequently engage in copyright 'infringement.' I put infringement in quotes because it's more like friends lending one another their weed whacker. Any time, Getty Images, just stop on by mi casa, as they say. The well-educated group who likes to comment on the Reds official site seems to be under the impression that it is panic attacks. But they also think that every time there is a runner on base there needs to be a bunt and that facial expressions crafted from punctuation are an accepted form of written public communication. I don't know what makes me feel worse, admitting that I occasionally read the comments, or publicly diseminating the rumors and conjecture I read. Either way, I am now 100 percent certain that Joey Votto is on the DL with panic attacks. Like REDSFAN4EVA said.

Reds continue the traveling salvation show today in St. Louis. The Cardinals, despite having a Piniero in the rotation, continue to, inexplicable, win. When they're not playing the Reds, that is. LaRussa is going to bat himself leadoff and Dave Duncan 9th. He's a genuis. Play better this week Reds. Volquez returns with a bionically upgraded back and hair style.