Reds Rocket Finally Gets Around To Addressing Major Award

As is usually the case, Mr. Redleds twirled his over- sized, novelty mustache between his thumb and forefinger and looked deep into the future. What he determined was, not only he going to wrap a shirt around Mr. Mets' neck - tight - but that Votto would bring home the NL's Most Valuable Player Award. Not that such a predictions required great powers of prognostication, which is a fun word to both say and type. Joey Jo-Jo was the best offensive player in the National League this year, leading the NL in three key nerd categories: on-based percentage (.424), slugging percentage (.600) and the Reds Rocket's favorite, OPS+ (which, as everyone knows because they won't shut up about it, is OPS adjusted for ballpark and league).  For the non-nerds, he was also 3rd in the league in bombs (37) and RBIs (113), second in batting average (.324), stole 16 bases and played fine defense over at first. I'm not going to quantify the defense for you because the research staff lacks to time and interest to research anything else. Just take my word for it, he's solid over there. But everyone already knows all about this because it took me a month to write anything about it due to a short-term imprisonment and double shifts at the cracker factory. Regardless of my laziness we can all agree that Joey Votto is pretty sweet and deserves that decorative trophy on his mantle place, 'eh?

Now on to more contemporary topics. Reds signed the D-Train. According to Jocketty, the original idea is for him to pitch out of the pen to left-handed batters. The Reds Rocket likes his big leg kick and warm personality, so welcomes both him and the portion of his brain which used to know the strikezone and subsequently quit functioning. His signing may have some impact on how seriously the ballclub pursues Arty Rhodes and his sore feet. He'll get an opportunity in the spring and appears to be a big fan of Dusty. At least he can sit in the dugout and talk about Hank Aaron.

Bruce and Votto and arbitration eligibility. The Reds Rocket had the great fortune of participating in an arbitration regarding the non-payment for Reds Rocket services rendered. If the Reds Rocket is going to take the time to produce a Wilmy Tavares sleeping bag, you're going to pay up even if he's the worst player and person in baseball. So, we know all about the process and based on that knowledge the Reds Rocket determines that both players are entitled to be straight paid. That's what the arbitration statement says, Votto position - "straight paid." Bruce has at least expressed an interest in sticking around, for the right price. Votto doesn't appear to know how the game works - you say how much you love Cincinnati and want to stay forever but it's in the hands of management. Not, I don't care if it's one year or a million year, how can I comment if we haven't had any discussions? Honesty has no place in press releases.

The Reds also restructured Arroyo's contract. This give them a little flexibility this offseason to buy a leadoff hitter that no one wants. They threw in a few bucks, a new boat and an informal agreement that next time Jack Johnson's in town, Arroyo will get to drop by the hotel where all the groupies are waiting. "Was the Bronson Arroyo." "I heard he drives a boat." Both sides appeared pleased with the agreement.

Speculation: Speaking of leadoff hitter, it is the Reds Rocket's preference that the Reds pursue Jose Reyes. I know I will regret reading this when I'm staying up next year reading through the entire archive. Everyone likes Janish, he plays very strong defense and hits a little but Dusty wants a leadoff hitter. Janish can't lead off, he doesn't get on base and would probably be considered a base clogger, which, to Old Dustman, is the worst type of anything. So, the Reds give one of the young arms (Bailey, Wood, Leake), Alonso, and Francisco. Sure the Mets already have a first and third baseman but look how poorly run that organization is. They just want to get out of a little salary. Or, since Ramon Hernadez was resigned and Mesoracco was not good in the Fall League, he is perhaps available. You get one year of an exciting player, who seems to be aging quickly enough where the Mets have little interest in resigning him, plays fine defense and wouldn't be as immediately barf-inducing as the other candidates. Of course, he's owed $11 million, which is like a boat made of of pure gold would be worth to Arroyo. A lot. But, who really cares what I think anyway. I just want to put this down in case the Reds do or do not get him so I can appear smart at a later date (I know I'm not fooling any of you's).

Conclusion. So, that concludes the winter wrap-up. Have I mentioned to anyone that since I live in the desert I can still wear shorts this time of year? But I don't because then everyone would see my prosthetic foot and ask me about it. Yes, it is pneumatically powered allowing me to kick a football over the moon but its embarrassing to talk about it all the time. Enjoy the long, Reds-less winter.