Thursday, May 28, 2009

Reds Sweep, Arroyo Looks Sharp, 6-1 Reds

The Reds threw their sister's genetically enlarged tomato at the Astros yesterday, and sent them back to whence they came. Arroyo, following a first inning walk of ultra-talent Michael Bourne which led to an early run, allowed only 5 hits the rest of the way in a dominating performance. He got out of there with having thrown only 94 pitches because, as we know, he has other things on his plate - like smirking at the camera and playing rock shows to quarter-full venues for example. The Reds Rocket enjoyed the double helping of the salad tossed out yesterday while Arroyo was on his way to taking over the lead in wins in the National League with 7. If he can get three more before the All-Star break, he might be looking at a second invitation. That would give him an even bigger stage to look surprised, but confident when looking at a camera.

The offense, though little was needed, was powered by the bat of Bruce. His average had dipped a little bit but yesterday he got back on top of things, going 3 for 4 with two bombs and a triple. That's a lot of total bases, too many for me to tally. Hairston tied the game up with a bomb in the first giving him six for the season. Those are pretty decent power numbers for a guy that can't drink two Chocolate Choo-Choos without passing out in his chair. The rest of the offense was acceptable but not extraordinary. No further detail is necessary.

Reds hit the road today, arriving in Milwaukee for the first of a 6-game swing tomorrow. They have three with the Brewers and then three in St. Louis. So, hopefully the Brewers enjoyed their time in first because this is the last they're going to see of it. Reds continue their assault on the Central. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Votto Would Like to Sell You a Wrist Band, Which You Know You Cannot Resist, Reds 6-4

Reds took the series from the A-holes last night, today they're planning a sweep. Then I can feature more pictures of that broom trying to win that lady over with some flowers or a soak in the hot tub. I'm already looking forward to the search for pictures tomorrow morning.

The team seems to have finally figured out how not to get beaten by Roy Boy Oswalt. Last night the key was Votto bouncing a ball off his pitching hand. Nice work Joey. Oswalts going to have a hard time operating the shovel level on his heavy machinery for the next several days. May also have trouble throwing pitches, which is fine, but since they're not the Reds, who really cares.

The offense was Phillips-less again, with Ramon Hernandez hitting in the four hole. Razor Ramon, however, knocked in the first two runs of the game with the slowest groundball base hit that the Reds Rocket has ever seen. But then the Astros came back. On Micah Owings you say with questioning inflection in your voice. Yes, sadly true. Owings gave up the lead the headed for the hot tub after the 5th with the game tied at 3. Each team added a run, Oswalt walked in the Reds' fourth. It is nice to see that hillbilly when he is less effective. And, in the 7th, as I'm sure you all know, Votto put the Reds up for good with a two-run bomb to left. Coco then converted his 13th save of the year in, wait for it, 13 attempts. Nice job team.

Arroyo takes the central pile of dirt today as the Reds try and wrap things up against some guy named Paulino, who has actually pitched pretty well against the Reds this year. Before tonight anyway. Reds five game over .500 and climbing. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Reds Take Series With Indians, Throw Litter on Highway

The Reds Rocket apologizes for the delayed recap of the weekend series, but Memorial Day is a very important holiday. I forget why. Something about remembering. Either way, team took two of three from the Indians in the Ohio Battle Royale and then game one of the three game series with the A-holes today.

The outcome of the Indians' series was not unexpected, given that they are not good any any aspect of the game. Arroyo was exceptional Friday with newly recalled reject Jonny Gomes scoring the go-ahead run after a pinch double. Rosales knocked him in with a double of his own. Jonny's missing an 'h' in his name and also the mohawk which made him look both wellspoken and approachable during the 2008 post-season. Homeboy made his first start of the season Saturday and the results were mixed. Mixed depending on how you feel about walks to weaker members of the Indians' lineup. If you feel the walks were a fine strategic decision, as does the Reds Rocket (you cannot let Jamey Carroll swing the bat, ever) you may be in favor of him getting a second start. And finally, on Sunday the Reds ate all of the fry bread and sent the Indians home unhappy. Gonzalez had a week's worth of hits, including the game winner, to combat the unpires' attempt to, once again, sabotage Dusty. Why can't they just leave him alone?

Today, Reds took game one against the Houston Wandys. Rain gave everyone a chance to catch up on baseball's greatest bloopers. Harang reemerged after the delay and recorded one out before taking the rest of the day off and heading home with win number 5. The Reds offense, missing Phillips, Votto, and Bruce, was just too much for the Astros pitching. Or maybe the horrible defense had something to do with it. So, don't roll your eyes next time you see this lineup card. Reds site says B. Phill is already hitting off a tee, which, evidently, is a good sign. Though it says nothing of his ability to throw, which you would think a broken thumb would impact. But that's not important, Reds site says he's good as new. Reds continue to ravage the league tomorrow. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Good Reds Show Up for Half Inning, Then Quickly Depart Again, Phills 12-5

Ugly loss for the Reds yesterday. Despite this site's, generally, unquestioning loyalty to the skipper, perhaps late inning relief roles for starters isn't that great of an idea. I realize that he didn't have that many options in San Diego but pitch Arroyo, he's likely going to be brutal regardless. Just kidding Bronson, you're rock solid especially at home. Like tonight against the Wahoos.

In other news, not related to any other than the bottom of the 5th of yesterday's game, Volquez hit the DL with a spasming back. I've never had back spasms, due to the lack of ability to even participate in sporting activities, but they sound like they would be interesting. Is it like a constant vibrating massage in your lower back or is it like a nervous tic? I'll have to contact my good pal Edinson and see what he says. And with Volquez missing a start, we get to see the return of Homeboy Bailey from Louisville. Sure, he's established that he likes throwing a lot of pitches in big league games but not striking anyone out or even recording very many outs. But according to Skip, he's hungry. Hungry like a bear or a pig to make one start, good or bad, then go back to Louisville. So, good luck to you son. Tell Dick Pole to fuck off for me. That guy thinks he knows everything about pitching. Who is he to tell you how to pitch?

Phillips, with the exception of the questionable decision to give Rollins a free base in the 6th, had a nice game yesterday. That bomb was sweet but proved to be a big tease. I thought I remembered Jared Burton being a friend of Reds fans, not mortal enemy. Maybe it has something to do with the sideburn-less beard he's wearing these days. Very fashionable but doesn't support getting outs. How about taking three from the Indians?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Here Comes a Winner, Reds 5-1

I had a hard time finding a good action shot of Harang. All are pretty much the same, him with his lips pursed throwing with a relaxed motion. I'm going to have to write a letter to my pals at Getty Images and complain about the quality, or more accurately, the lack of variety, of photos for me to infringe upon their copyright. We have a long standing working relationship, I suspect they will be happy to ablige. So, for those of you with pictures of Aaron Harang eating a sandwich or signing your breasts, send them to the email address along the side of this page. That way I spend more time critiquing the photo rather than moving on to sub-standard baseball breakdowns.

Reds turned things around last night with a variety of weakly hit balls that found room on the grass and a strong pitching performance by the resident giant. Harang, clearly enraged due to his inability to hold a lead last start, mauled two of his handlers before the game, the guy who holds the chain and the other one who is supposed to distract him with the bright colors of his uniform, like a rodeo clown, then went out and pitched a helluva game. Seven strong innings with the only blemish being a shot from Raul Ibanez. Does anyone know if they play Werewolves of London in Philadelphia so that everyone can howl "Raa-oool"? There are a lot of questions to the unseen audience today, which everyone is more than welcome to disregard. Do you like the Reds Rocket's new policy to encourage participation with the contributors? How about the capital of Montana, don't you think it's time it moves out of Helena?

The still Votto-less offense was acceptable last night, Phillips providing the most interest. He knocked in three with run-scoring singles and triples. Bruce broke his bat and knocked in a run and I can't recall how the fifth was scored and I'm just too important to navigate over to the box score. So, that will end the game recap due to utter incompetence. The key, at least from my perspective which encourages laziness, is that the Reds won. No further information is necessary, right? Reds take the series today. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Reds Decide Losing Feels Pretty Good, Opt to Continue, Phills 4-3

The Reds didn't actually play all that poorly, especially against Oswalt-esque nemesis Hamels. The offense actually touched him up for three runs, which isn't too bad considering he'd had like a 0.50 ERA coming in. Either way, we can all agree that Hamels is an asshole is his wife is dumb as a box of hair. That makes the Reds Rocket feel better anyway.

Votto took another night off and the offense, at least appears, to miss him. Not that they were necessarily dominating when he is in the lineup on a regular basis but at least one guy is picking up a few hits. Bruce hit another bomb but also struck out 3 times. His at bat against Madsen in the 8th was pretty ugly. Then the team picked up a couple more runs with a Hairston bomb, Phillips triple, and Hernandez sac fly. But that was it. Reds got a couple runners onbase in the 9th versus Lidge but Taveras, dinner with his 'other family', and Hairston, accepting award for the man who has done the most for people suffering from coldsores, had other obligations. Chris Welch, for some reason, was very pleased with Tavera consistently chasing balls out of the strike zone, rather than taking a walk to load the bases, prior to finally striking out. Pitch selection is an overrated skill. But no one argues with someone with a moustache that fine. Reds turn the switch back to 'good' tonight.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Reds Raise Hopes Then Dash Them Quite Expertly, Padres 3-1

Dusty reminded us over the weekend that's he's running this team. 'Whoa, there Reds fan, this is moving a little fast for me here. I don't need you getting all, you know, supportive. Dusty needs his space, so give it to him goddamnit.' After sweeping the Snakes in dominant fashion, the Reds went into San Diego and lost three straight to the Friars.

Friday night the team was up early but Harang tired and ended up giving the Pads a full 5 runs to work with. Those are not Harang-like numbers, especially in front of Mama Harang who was in the crowd. She doesn't respond well to poor performances as the bite marks on Aaron's left arm will illustrate. Where do you think he got the blood lust? Saturday's marathon featured a couple of early exits. Votto with continued vertigo and Volquez with a spasming back. Still, the team was up 5-2 when those guys took off. Weathers melted down and then everyone decided that they wanted to play for 10 more innings, with no offense. 15 hits combined over 16 innings? That's good baseball. Wilmy Taveras, like Dusty, reminded us that he'll hit when he feels like hitting. After a 14-game hitting streak, he went 0 for 13 versus the Padres and even sat out yesterday.

Speaking of yesterday, the Reds, other than Chris Dickerson, wanted no part of Peavy, who hasn't even been that great this year, comparatively anyway. The team needed a quick game, so they took their swings then headed for the terminal. They were all very tired from Saturday night. And on a day that Arroyo, since he was on the road, wasn't all that bad. But I guess the offense typically supports him, so screw you Bronson.

So, in conclusion, who knows about this team. They return home to play the Phills, who just took a series from the Nationals which means they're pretty hot. Cueto has been good all year, so I don't know if that means he's due for a poor start or he's just going to continue dominating. I'm pretty sure it's the latter. He'll be striking people out, laying down push bunts and applying ghost tags to runners crossing home plate. It'll be sweet.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Reds Look At the Floor And Notice It Needs Sweeping, Reds 10-3

Reds looked pretty solid again last night. The pitching was good, as Cueto picked up his fourth win of the year, and the offense was also, well, good too. Votto took the game off with the shits and the spins, so that meant Ramon Hernandez over at first for the fourth time. Saying this as a Hernandez detractor leaning more and more towards being neutral, he doesn't do a bad job over there. He made an error last night but the game was long over and everyone knew the Diamondbacks weren't going to score any more runs. So, with the day off today, Votto should be ready to go in San Diego Friday. So long, Ramon, back behind the plate where we don't have to look at that face of yours. The other players have determined that he is just to handsome, all of the post-game skanks won't leave him alone.

The offense put together 14 hits against starter Bryan Augentstein and several replacement level relief pitchers. None of the hits left the yard, but the Reds aren't about flash or even pizzaz. They'll take the singles and then throw their arms up like they just won the World Series when they hit a double. Tavares had three more hits putting his average up the level we all expected prior to the season, .322. Hairston had a couple more hits and Phillips drove in 4 with two doubles. Cueto had a sweet push bunt for a hit followed by a terrible bunt when attempting to sacrifice. That's what you get for sacrificing, let the boy swing away.

In reading the postgame wrap up, Arizona manager, we call him Aji, took some exception to Cueto putting the old pretend tag on Upton as he was crossing the plate in the 6th. The Reds Rocket feels that the new manager should focus more on being less shitty as a manager. I think running Augie Ojeda out there every day, especially at 3rd base, will make you very popular in Arizona. But he's the skipper.

So, this concludes the live Reds schedule for the Reds Rocket this season. The Reds made good on their promise to dominate at all games in which the aforementioned organization is in attendance. Dusty gave me his word in exchange for a steak sandwich. I made good on my promise to eat two 'Wisonsin Dogs', a foot-long hotdog covered with macaroni and cheese and bacon bits. Makes me feel like a big man. And, as I'm sure everyone has already noticed, the Reds are tied for first place. Shhh. Keep it to yourself. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Diamondbacks No Match For Phillips' Gestures to the Good Lord, Reds 3-1

Owings returned to Arizona to mostly positive recollections. The fans gave him a nice ovation and then didn't even seem to care that much that he shut down their offense for 7+. The only run was scored after he drilled pinch-hitting Ryan Roberts with the first pitch to lead off the 8th. Roberts being among the many Diamondbacks to have neck tattoos, as is the style in the desert. Owings took a shower after hitting Roberts and Arty Rhodes allowed the Snakes only run to score when he gave up a double to Felipe Lopez. It appears that Lopez should not be pitched to with runners on base, since he's hitting everything. Just move on to the next batter in the lineup who is sure to be terrible. Diamondbacks opening day left fielder, Conor Jackson, was actually just placed on the DL with an acute case of being terrible at baseball.

Phillips drove in the first run of the game when he knocked a single through the left side scoring Hairston. He scored the second run and then contributed to the third with a towering shot out to left. The Diamondbacks broadcast, for those of us in the local blackout area, put the on-scene reporter out by that thin scoreboard that Phillips hit. He had a couple of lights out that he was showing the viewers, which was pretty uninteresting, however, he did say that Phillips ball broke two of the lights which would have to be replaced at $2000 per light. So, how about that? Not only giving the Snakes a solid beating but causing them additional expense. All around good night for the Reds.

Reds sweep today against some guy making his first big league start against Cueto. This will not be a night for him to remember, at least fondly. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Diamondback Emphasize That They, Not the Padres, Are the Worst Team in the National League, Reds 13-5

The Reds, like the man to the right, grabbed the Snakes, shoved them up their nose, and then pulled the head out of their mouth to the amusement of all onlookers. For the first time this year, the Reds really unloaded on a team. The offense was hitting everything hard, especially off Garland. Which is not surprising, because he is a fine person but a terrible baseball player.

Willy Tavaras went 5 for 5 with 4 runs scored a stolen base. Rosales made up for some Tim Timmons-like defense at third, by hitting a sprinting homer and two doubles and Nix hit an absolute bomb to center, for his second homer of the season. There were many highlights for the Reds offense which, in its last five games, has scored 6, 6, 8, 7, and 13. Those are some awful big numbers for a bunch of guys who had little interest in scoring runs to begin the season. All the runs made the fact that Arroyo wasn't particularly effective moot. But no one is interested in that. Reds score many runs, Reds Rocket satisfied.

As a brief recap of my first trip to Snake Field this year, I saw both a Alex Smith, superstar quarterback, and Bobby Higginson Tigers jersey worn with pride and the local fans were booing by the third batter of the game. Reds score 20 runs today, wreck-up that low ERA of Haren. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Reds Only Minimally Disappointing, Cardinals 8-7

After already watching the Reds win the first two games of the series then, yesterday, add a little uncharacteristic heart before falling in the 10th, the Reds Rocket didn't need the standard Chocolate Choo-Choo to drown out the sorrows after the game. This is not to imply that the Reds Rocket does not expect the Toothpicks to win every game for the rest of the season but, if they are going to lose, a loss like yesterday wasn't all that bad.

Volquez's line looks worse than he actually threw. His own poor defense, of course, contributed. Danny Ray and Burton didn't help him out following a couple of walks in the 7th. Charlatans. But the big news was the offense: Ray Jay hit another two-run bomb; Rosales went yard for the first time in his career then sprinted around the bases like a maroon; Votto appeared recoved from the swine flu, taking a pitch out opposite field; and the 9th inning featured two bombs, the first by the powerful Jerry Hairston and the second by everyone's favorite pinch-hitting pitcher. When I say favorite, I mean when he's not pitching. Ryan Franklin and his weird beard, trash stache, filled up the count then floated a fastball over which Owings crushed, sending the game to extras. What happened after that, I don't recall. Everyone was joyous and went home and had a hearty meal before returning for the work week.

Reds in Arizona today. For those of you who don't get every Diamondbacks game on tv may not realize how bad the Arizona team is this year. They just lost 2 of 3 at home to the Nationals. Their offense is hitting a collective .226 and Brandon Webb has some potentially serious shoulder issues. Rumor has it that's why a long-term deal wasn't reached this offseason, team doctor's concerns of whether that ball and socket joint is going to hold up over the length of a new contract. So, there you go, your 2009 Arizona Diamondbacks. Reds take three beginning tonight. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Reds Pose with Serious Expressions, Dominate Cardinals 8-3

Two strong performances against a previously hot team, in front of the home crowd? The one out of five in attendance who were actually for the home team were undoubtedly quite pleased with the outcomes of games one and two in the series with the Cards. Now you can not only dump your beer on the old lady in your section wearing the Cardinals hat but accompany the soaking with an insult regarding the play of her team. Be sure to tell your mother all about it tomorrow, it is a holiday after all.

Cueto continued his dominance yesterday, pitching 7 strong and laying down a wide array of interesting sacrifice bunts. The idea is to clip the ball with the bottom quarter of the bat, bouncing it off the plate high into the air. He has it down to the a science. He'll take that extra base when you're not paying attention every time. Even without Billy Hatcher reminding him of the rules. Weathers picked a good game to become ineffective, with a 4-run cushion in the 8th. That allowed Coco the opportunity to pick up another save. He feels like he needs to validate that big contract to you fans.

Today, Corporal Clegg, with the wooden leg, also went 7, and with the exception of a two-out bomb from Ludwick and an unearned run, pitched very fine. In both games the offense decided to show up. The Reds Rocket has determined that Votto with all of his hitting has proven to be a crutch for the rest of the positional players. While he receives care for the hog dysentery, everyone else has had to make like a regular offense. Both games featured first inning runs, putting the starters at ease. Whoa now, simmer down there big fella', look at the scoreboard. See? Two runs. Have a carrot. Tough break for the owner of the tiny novelty beard, Lohse, but that's how the team treats ex-Reds. Even if management received uncharacteristically large salad-tosser Matt Baloney in return.

Tomorrow, as has been long predicted, Reds continue their dominance of everyone. After one more with at home with the Cardinals, they hit the road for a three-game set in front of the serpents beginning Monday. The Reds Rocket, as dwellers of the desert and, thus, questioned Reds loyalists, will finally have an opportunity to view the games in person and tell Volquez how much we like his hair. It looks like a giant spider is crawling out from under your hat, which is wicked sweet. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Reds Send Brewers Home to Mama, 6-5

With tuberculosis going around the clubhouse, the Reds ran 'alternative' lineup out on the field yesterday. That meant Ramon Hernandez playing first for his only time in his career and Hairston moving from short over to 2nd to take the place of B. Phill. Paul Janish Yanish sacked up and played short after icing that pitching arm down. Hernandez actually made a nice catch over at first to end the game. Turns out the Toothpick, or as his Spanish speaking friends call him (apparently there are three options) palillo, escarbadientes, or mondadientes, knew exactly what he was doing all along. I realize that this is how 40% of my paragraphs end but you can't say it enough.

The bullpen was solid again last night. After Owings wore himself out legging out triples and scoring on wild pitches, Masset came in a calmed things down. Arty Rhodes followed, walked the lefty and struck out two righties. And then Coco made everyone nervous when Nelson hit a deep fly out but retired the side in order. Thombo reminded me several times during last night's broadcast that Coco has the longest consecutive active save streak in the majors. Way to go you fat piece of shit. Just kidding, the Reds Rocket is a big fan. Big fan of Coco.

Cards in town today with 5 game winner, and piece of garbage, Joel Piniero taking the mound today against Cueto. Clearly, mismatch here in favor of the Reds, so no need to tune in. You can just read about the 14-1 win tomorrow in the paper. Yesterday, I listened to the first 4 or 5 innings on the radio and during the 'Ask Marty' part of the broadcast, a listener asked Marty who, in his opinion, was the most handsome member of the Louisville Bats team? That is a good question. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Reds Look Pretty Good, Brewers 15-3

Since the Reds play was piss poor yesterday, enjoy this picture of both Hasslehoff and Gary Coleman in front of Kit. It's from the episode of Diff'rent Strokes where we learned a valuable lesson about not trusting adults, regardless how nice the car may be. 'Michael, are you sure you want to touch the young boy there?'

Arroyo's start was not ideal, especially with a short bullpen. He went 1+ and gave up a very reasonable 9 runs. Even with the Reds powerful offense, that's a big deficit to come back from. The pen was adequate and, hey, Paul Janish Yanish pitching the 9th. Nice job out there Paul. Who doesn't like seeing a position player out there getting shelled when the game is already out of hand? You can likely take that ERA of 45 runs per 9 innings into retirement with you and tell your spoiled grandchildren about it. If there is a next time, I'd like to see more knuckleballs and euphus pitches.

B.Phill and Bruce both went yard, bringing the Reds up to the 3 runs you saw on the scoreboard at the conclusion of the game. So, there you have it. Reds beat the Brewers today and split the series.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Reds Laugh, Enjoy Selves at Expense of Marlins, Reds 7-0

Phillips finally awoke from his slumber tying a career best by driving in 6 of the Reds 7 runs, Votto got on base 5 times and Volquez continued to be very disrespectful to opposing bats. All around nice day for the team in South Florida. But now they have to go to go play at home, in front of hundreds/thousands of supportive fans. What a drag. At least they can go to Skyline and get some chili in between losses. You can't get a decent potato smothered in cheese in Florida.

Volquez was wicked good again last night. His second straight start of 8 innings of shut out baseball. He walked a couple more this time, 3, and gave up two more hits, but the Marlin offense may be slightly better than Houston's, so no big deal. He's reduced his ERA to a much more managable three and a half per game. Everyone is quite please with his production, even Josh Hamilton, who's on the DL.

Just so fans didn't forget which team they're watching the Reds did put runners on 2nd and 3rd with less than 2 outs in both the 8th and 9th innings and did not score. That's the team I've grown to tolerate. Offense, keep up the good work. Maybe the bomb and double reminded Phillips that the reaction he receives from teammates and well-wishers for hits is more positive than for strikeouts or weak lineouts to infielders. That's is if he gave a shit what you or anyone else thinks, which, it so happens, he does. He aims to please. As stated, Reds home v. Milwaukee. Brewers bite. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Reds Tire of Game, Let Stupid Fish Win 3-2

As everyone familiar with the Reds know, one of the basic tenets of Dusty's regime is that the team get plenty of sleep. Dusty can't function on less than 17 hours. So, with the length of last night's game, the Janish Yanish decided to cut the team's losses, if you will, and throw the ball away in the 14th. Fourteen innings is just too long for a baseball game to go on. Especially in Florida, these boys got to hit the club.

Harang looked quite good for 7 innings yesterday, giving up only the two runs. If the game went into the 15th, Dusty was going to run him back out there. Harang understands that the four-day rest period in between starts is a luxury, not an entitlement. The yahoos who followed Harang were also pretty good. Lincoln loaded the bases up, but then decided to get out of the jam. Very uncharacteristic. When on the MLB homepage yesterday, I noted that Lincoln was one of the players listed in the 'cold' category. I found that surprising.

The offense, like nearly every game this season, was not very interesting to watch. Main-man Ramon Hernandez picked up the lone RBI, the other run scoring after Rosalez hit into a double play. And those runs both scored in the 7th, what they were doing for the rest of the time is unknown to me. Alex Gonzalez left the game late with a prolapsed rectum. Hopefully that gets better soon. If you don't already know and you'd like to know more about the condition is, type it into a google images search. I think you will enjoy the results and also be more empathetic towards Alex's early season slump. Reds win today, count on it.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Reds Starters Serve Metaphorical Sandwich To Pirates, Take Series from Rats

Depending upon your feelings of the importance of a bread to a sandwich, the bread portion of the series was excellent. The Reds Rocket prefers a high quality wheat toast which was represented by both the Arroyo and Cueto starts over the weekend. Arroyo salad was right on Friday night, shutting the Buccos out over 8. Then Cueto was even better today, pitching a similar scoreless 8, but putting up nine strikeouts. The filling to the sandwich, Owings, would be represented by Vegimite or ham salad. Those of you who like either of those two fillings are just fooling yourself as they do not make for a satisfying sandwich. Unless you are satisfied with disappointment. Which I am not.

Owings, in addition to maintaining strong hygene and grooming standards, also has to trouble himself with taking some swings in the cage and worry about Homeboy down on the farm striking out 16 in between looking terrible. The Reds Rocket is not ready to give up on the kid and his, I believed it's termed, mediocre peripherals. He's, as I hear way too frequently, a gamer. And gamers we will support.

The offense today wasn't too bad, considering the season leading up to the series, either. The Pittsburgh fanbase's cheering every time Hernandez stepped into the box, or was announced in the pre-game lineups, turned to questioning looks and even angry muttering, as Ramon was driving in runs like a wild child. That guy can flat out rake. And it appears that Adam Rosales support has turned toward frenzy as he keeps hitting like he was at AAA. And look at that guy hustle. He just got a walk but is sprinting to first? This guy's crazy, where do I buy a jersey? Even the 6 runs scored on Saturday show that they weren't just quite as willing to give up as they appeared they may be at the beginning of the year.

The ballclud sharpen their spears tomorrow before going marlin fishing tomorrow night in Miami. No one cares, Josh Johnson, how many times you've beaten Santana this year. I hope you're prepared to be the big loser. Nice weekend Reds, that's the type of team I can support. One that can take two out of three from the team suspected to be, outside the Nats, the worst in the NL. Reds! Reds! Reds!