Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Reds Wrap Things Up in a Nice Little Package

America's team finished the season one a two-game winning streak to wrap things up 6 under .500. Sure, it's another season with more losses than wins but the team looked pretty good heading down the finish line. Perhaps aided by their opponents having given up or perhaps just due to their strong play. Dusty knows how to win the games that nobody care about.

Cueto evened his record Saturday with an adequate final start and Bailey continued his string of high quality starts. Votto got his average over .320 and B. Phill, after taking a week or so off from driving in runs, knocked in three Sunday to bring him within 2 of his goal of 100. Arbitrary as the RBI stat is, it's good to have personal goals. On a more positive, Taveras was able to meet his goal of the 1000th time that a fan yelled 'why is he in the game.' Congratulations Willy.

The Reds Rocket will return within the next few days to wrap things up into an even tighter package. One you'll need a scissor or perhaps scissors, to open.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Reds Look Forward to Season Ending

The Reds Rocket apologizes but an unavoidable trip to Salinas, California conflicted with my otherwise necessary duties. Salinas, for those of you who have not been, is responsible for 80% of the lettuce grown in the US, is the birthplace of Steinbeck and has almost triple the national murder rate. So, for those of you who weren't shot dead and left in a lettuce field following your reading of the first two sentences, hello Salinas. Thanks for your hospitality. Next time maybe I can be a part of or witness one of your famous murders.

Reds played some nice ball the first two games against the Cardinals, who pretty clearly, don't care about the remainder of the season. Bailey looked good against and Arroyo followed it up with a gem for his 15th win of the season. Pine tar and all (go fuck yourself Duncan). Kipster didn't look quite as great yesterday, getting blown out of the yard by the opposing pitcher. At least Carpenter had never hit a homer before, so it will give him some reason to remember Kip Wells. Most of us don't have that opportunity. Who? And today, the offense disappeared against the Pirates. At least they have two more beatings to administer. Cueto on the hill tomorrow, Bailey in the finale. Many things to look forward to Reds fans, depending upon your feelings regarding meaningless games at the end of the season. Of course my feelings are both sadness and optimism.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Reds Reach Maximum Victories in a Row, 6, Lose Finale 3-2

I like how my posts have been starting for the last month or so, more good play by the Redlegs, or something to that extent. The Reds took the first two of the series before dropping yesterday's game. But even in the loss, Cueto looked pretty sharp, like Roxette, throwing 7 and a third and giving up three.

Games one and two featured identical scores, Reds 10 - Aholes 4. Votto hit four more doubles in those two, he's like a mechanized double-hitting machine, literally. Those things can hit doubles all day long. Ray Jay went deep both Friday and Saturday, collecting 4 hits in 7 at bats. Hopefully this is what his hitting is going to look like going forward. I like this approach better than looking foolish on breaking balls and swinging and missing at fastballs in hitter's counts. And the offense was just generally good. Juan Francisco continues to rake, though with Rolen at 3rd, he's going to have a hard time breaking through and seeing significant time next year. There has been some talk of him moving to the outfield, based upon generally poor defense at 3rd. Though, this is all premature, I suspect he may struggle a bit once the scouting reports start circulating. And as all the readers know, I am quite knowledgeable.

Reds get the day off today before playing the Cardinals, who have nothing to gain, at home Tuesday. That, hopefully, means some rest for some of the starters. Don't want Carpenter to have a sore shoulder going into the post season which would be a real pity, not seeing him dominate the Reds again. Maybe Pujols needs a couple of days off to relax and find a place in his garage for the MVP trophy. The Reds Rocket would be in favor of both activities. Regardless of the loss yesterday, nice series Reds. Glad to see you guys turning it on long after everyone lost hope.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Pirates No Match For Quality Reds Team, Reds 4-1

Arroyo was once again dynamite, shutting down the Bucs for 7 innings with the only blemish being a solo homer to Lastings Millidge. Jeff Brantley brought to my attention that since July 10, Arroyo has the second best ERA in the majors behind Adam Wainwright. Yesterday was his 12th consecutive quality start and not of the 6 inning 3 run variety, he has been consistently soloing for 7+. As I've said many time, that's some quality salad.

The Reds offense slowed but only compared to the previous two days where they were putting up double digits. Votto had another double, Phillips drove in two more to set his career RBI mark and the team was 3 for 3 with runners in scoring position. I can't remember that ever happening. Willy Taveras even contributed two hits. That guy can flat out rake. The broom team above was commissioned by the Reds and is being kept on standby as there remains one more series with the Pirates, who can officially be considered a joke. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Votto Picks Up Four Hits, Treats Fans to Slow Motion Stream of Saliva, Reds 12-2

Reds continued their dominance of the Pirates with a blistering offensive performance. Double digit runs in two consecutive games? Unheard of. But, Dusty seems to have found the solution. In looking at the lineup card, someone named Tavares is listed at the top of the order. Apparently he's hitting a shade under .238 and playing mediocre defense. I look forward to seeing what the kids has to offer.

Votto raked four hits yesterday, including two double, giving him 5, as the pros say, two-baggers in the first two games of the series. Phillips, Rolen, Bruce, Nix and Cork each knocked in two runs. Stubbs stole a couple of bases at the top of the order, Bailey was solid, the Reds Rocket got a BB gun for Christmas; everything was right in the world. Hey Jared Burton even looked pretty dominant. The Reds Rocket is readying a picture of a broom, perhaps having consensual relations with the wives of several of the Pirates. That would really be something to see. Arroyo keeps the Reds train rolling today against the underwhelming Pittsburgh offense. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Reds Show Continued Ability to Beat Pirates, Reds 10-4

Reds, on the heals of a big 5th inning, evened Cueto's record and beat Pittsburgh for the sixth time in a row. It's too bad that these Pirates games didn't occur earlier in the season when, you know, they meant something. A Reds victory is a thing of beauty, regardless how irrelevant it may appear to the uninformed populous.

Cueto gave up a bomb to the first batter he saw, McCutcheon but then cooled out and threw 101 pitches over 5 innings, the majority of which were pretty alright. The Pirates should have been out of the 5th inning, with no runs allowed, but Doumit fired a potential double play ball down the first base line and things continued. Votto ended the day with three doubles, Rolen with two. Rolen knocked in three of the 10. Yesterday, we also saw the activation of Ramon Hernandez, whose contribution to this season, compared with that of the three times DFA'd Ryan Freel, are probably about equal. The Reds will likely go into 2010 with Paul Bako back opening the season behind the plate.

Also, to less fanfare, as he doesn't and shouldn't play, was the return of Wilmy Tavares. Apparently he's healed from the leg injury and ready to "contribute", meaning provide the lead off out to begin each and every game he's in there. At least he's only making $4 million next year, that's more or less the going rate for a pinch runner. Juan Francisco continued to illustrate that he is much more comfortable coming off the bench. He hit his first career double, to go with the first career home run from last week, that I forgot to mention. That's just the type of coverage you'll get here from the Reds Rocket.

Reds undoubtedly continue their dominance of the Pirates today. I look forward to the merciless beating.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Cork's Moustache Outscores Fish By Itself, Reds 8-1

After two late inning losses to the Fish, courtesy of a Coco meltdown Friday night and a late bomb by Ross Gload Saturday, the Reds salvaged a sweep with the Floridians with a nice offensive showing yesterday. Cork, who seems to be getting an awful lot of time behind the plate, which the Reds Rocket is undecided about, hit his first bomb of the season, a three-run shot, and then it was all downhill from there. The Kipster, in usual fashion, dominated for 7+, to pick up his second win of the year. Votto added a bomb and the offense, in one of those rare games, seemed almost competent. Nice way to finish the season with the Marlins.

Friday night, however, was a bit of a disappointment. Bailey was absolutely dominant for 7 innings of shut out baseball. Masset worked a scoreless 8th but Coco, trying for his fifth save in five days, was unsuccessful. He wasn't helped out by the defense, Balentien lost a fly ball when his mole obscured his vision but that's not really a very valid excuse. The loss was on Cordero, who needs to continue his dominance if there is any hope that the Reds can unload his salary this offseason I mean, set the tone for a strong 2010.

Arroyo pitched real well on Saturday, going into the 8th with a 2-1 lead. However, a home run allowed to Ross Gload instantaneously transforms a quality start into a disappointment. And it did. Tough break son.

Reds get to beat on the Pirates some more starting Tuesday. I'm sure everyone, like me, will be tuning in to watch the excitement.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Reds Kill Fish, Share Experience with Children, Reds 3-2

As the league is starting to recognize, there's just no beating the Reds at home. They waited this long to get things together, so they're just going to continue playing well. Baloney, in the place of Cueto, who's out with dysentery, picked up his first career win, with 5 pretty good innings - 4 really good innings, if you don't count the number of people on base anyway.

The offense featured some early hitting then a lot of relaxing. McDonald led the game off with a bomb, which has been a nice theme for the Reds the last few weeks, lead-off home runs. Then Anibal loaded up the bases and Bruce knocked in two with a powerful broken-bat flare into left. It still counts and it's nice to see him back in the lineup swinging (mostly) and missing. The tail end of the bullpen, Rhodes, Masset and Cordero were rock solid again. Not much else to talk about. Reds win, no big deal. I'm sure there will be three more to follow. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Reds Play Astros 'Clean Sweep' By Bobby Broom, They Enjoy the Guitar Work, Dislike the Message, Reds 6-5

The Reds continued their late season surge at home, sweeping away the Astros despite started Justin Lehr allowing 5 home runs, two to Keppinger. Not that Keppinger is a bad guy or necessarily a poor bat, but I'm not sure he hit two in his time with Cincinnati. That is an exaggeration used for humorous effect. I am aware that he hit more than two.

The Reds scored first when Jonny Gomes hit his 20th bomb of the season. As I've stated, if he could play a little defense and the Reds didn't have so many outfielders, he'd probably be approaching 30. Or, maybe the opposition would have determined how to pitch him and he'd be hitting .215. Hard to say but using my superior speculation skills I'll put the total number of home runs for Jonny Gomes playing everyday, 162 games, at 97. That would have been a solid year.

The Reds rallied again, scoring the winner on a wild pitch after consecutive singles by Votto and Phillips. The late inning bullpen, Masset and Cordero, was solid and the A-holes go home with nice statistics and three losses. On an aside, it appears the Houston's were so discouraged by Oswalt giving up 4 runs to the Reds yesterday that they've shut him down for the year. When you're 6-30 games under .500 at this point in the season that isn't necessarily a call you hate to receive. Now he can go back to the farm and drive his earth mover around. I hope he remembers that the Reds broke him last year when he's thinking about improving that winning percentage.

It was Cueto's turn to start today against the oversized fish but he's got a case of the shits and was sent home for swine flu precautions. Don't want him drinking out of your Gatorade bottle while you're out on the field. So, Baloney takes the hill, hopefully that blister has healed. They're a son of a bitch. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Paul Janish Yanish's Big Day, Reds 5-4

Reds took game two of the series with the A-holes running their home winning streak to, seven? That's a hot team. They didn't hang the L on Oswalt but at least won a game that he started. That is happening more frequently as he ages but I believe his career record is still 22-1.

After the Kipster allowed many singles and many stolen bases in the first, the Reds' bats did the tighten' up, Stubbs hit the first pitch he saw out of the yard then old Janish Yanish doubled and later scored on a sac fly by Rolen. Kippy, who was recently voted the least popular player on the team due to unfriendly personality/venereal disease, battled through 6 and put his team in the position to win. At least that's what the paper said. He seemed to be having a battle with the strike zone and if 4 earned over 6 can be considered a success, we'll give him that.

The above-pictured Janish, celebrating one of the many big hits of his career, doubled in the go-ahead in the 7th and the bullpen finished things up with a nice couple of innings from Masset and Coco, with Masset striking out the side. Janish Yanish had three hits, which is likely a career high. Maybe not but I don't remember a lot of multi-hit games from the shortstop. And as everyone knows I have a photographic memory and never misstate facts which could be easily researched but are not. Nice win team, sweep today. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Ray Jay Back With New Ability to Roll Singles Through Infield, Reds 3-1

The Reds added two players to their roster before the start of yesterday's game, Juan Francisco who may be a legitimate power threat, and activated Ray Jay Bruce from the disabled list. Bruce, as you likely recall, nearly ripped his right hand off attempted to play a sinking line drive in right. The Reds Rocket had missed his stretching him elbow out behind him while he waited for the pitch.

Last night, announced as a pinch hitter, Bruce rolled one through the right side score runs number one and two and making a winner out of Bronson Arroyo. That now gives him a winning record and an ERA which continues to creep down towards 4.00. He had a nice outing last night, scattering 6 hits over 7 with just the one run allowed on a Panamanian special, which means a double by Carlos Lee. Phillips added his 20th bomb of the season to put things out of reach. The Astros aren't going to be scoring two runs in an inning any time soon.

The team fully intends on sweeping the A-holes, just so they know. Stay tuned, Reds baseball is just now getting exciting.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Reds Drop Series to Poorly Trained Bears, Cubs 5-2

Though, in comparison to the Rockies series, the team looked pretty good, winning the one game and all. Yesterday, Bailey continued in his quest to see how many pitches he can throw and still make it through 6 innings. Yesterday he got up to 115, not bad. And he didn't even make it to 6. The offense offered little support.

Saturday, the Reds did get a victory but it was of the infuriating variety. Jumped out to a 5-0 lead, they handed it all back and had to rely on Carlos Marmol being terrible in the 9th to pick up the win. Cueto was pretty good again which seems to indicate that he was suffering from a bit of fatigue before his vacation on the DL. All starts since coming off has been decent which is an improvement over the 10, where he went 0-6, before he hit the shelf. And Drew Sutton, thank you for your positive contribution in the 9th. I believe a future utility player may be in your future after all.

Reds come back home to play the Astros whose season is equally pointless. Even more so because, since they're the Astros, no one cares about them. At least for you Cincinnati fans, you got to see some fine play from the Bengals. I tuned out a little early but the game was firmly in hand. Kyle Orton and the brutal Broncos offense had the ball on their own 20 with 38 seconds to go. No way they're going to move that the length of the field. And since the Bengals are so well coached, don't have to worry about db's knocking the ball up in the air or trying to intercept it. Just knock it to the ground, game over.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Reds Complete Reverse Sweep, Rockies 5-1

After turning in a couple of pretty good outings, the Kipster hit a bump in the road yesterday in Colorado, namely the 3rd inning. But, despite the bad outing, he has still performed above expectations for a player who was not good enough to stay on the Nationals' roster. Nice jersey, Kip.

The offense which appeared poised to not be terrible in the first inning, only pushed across one run and that proved to be the only one they'd get for the rest of the day. They loaded the bases on Contreras and after Phillips knocked in a run, Balentien and Rosales started the streak of 6 consecutive strikeout between the two of them and that was, as they say, that. No one should be especially surprised by the sweep, as the Reds followed the same pattern they have utilized all season. A Reds sweep, immediately followed by an opponent's sweep.

For those of you losing interest in the season, for reasons unknown to the Reds Rocket, another sport opened its season last night with a low scoring game and lots of pre-game festivities. So, you are no longer required to watch the Reds, at least on Sundays, Mondays and occasionally Thursdays. Though Dusty will be very disappointed if you're not tuned in. He knows, he always knows.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Oh Coco, Rockies 4-3

Reds fell to 0-6 against the Rocks on the season last night Seth Smith drove in the tying and winning runs with two outs in the 9th off Reds closer extraordinaire, Coco Cordero. I know he's been pretty reliable all season, but when you're the highest paid player on the team and the majority of your appearances are in very specialized situations, you'll need to close things out. The walks to Giambi and Spilborgh on 4 pitches apiece weren't a big help. Well, you'll get them next time, you fat piece of crap. Just kidding Coco, we're big fans.

Reds offense was dormant again until the 8th last night where they scored 2, to let Arroyo off the hook. Speaking of, another quality start for the Velocinator. This is a very similar pattern to last year. Good begining to the season, bad/awful middle of the season, followed by two months of outstanding starts. Then Rolen gave the team its first lead of the game with a bomb in the 9th. After that things unraveled but for a while, the team was looking good and feeling good.

Afternoon delight for the Reds today as they say so long to the Rockies for the season. Hopefully they remember to take a dump on the clubhouse floor before heading out to catch that plane.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Thieves Break Into Reds Office and Steal All of Their Vitamins, Offense Suffers 3-1

The team after looking strong for a week has fallen back into the hole in which they have been trapped for the majority of the season. Struggling to get things going offensively isn't something new but at Coors? Against Jason Marquis? Rolen didn't even manage a hit against the guy who tried to crack open his skull. He must be waiting until it means something, like when the Rockies are in the middle of a playoff race and a loss would really hurt them. Next time maybe.

Baloney wasn't bad at all last night. He left after the 5th with a John Lennon-like blister on his finger. Only the one run allowed, nice outing Matt. He was followed by Pedro Viola, making his major league debut. Pedro was greeted by the powerful Eric Young, Junior who took his third big league pitch out of the yard. Not an ideal start, but he settled in and got some people out. Viola is another guy that I saw in the Fall League last year, so can pretend to know a lot about. Just ask me for my analysis, I dare you.

Team has two more chances to beat the Rocks this year and are planning on taking advantage of both. Reliable Arroyo on the hill tonight. Expect the best.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Reds Treat Braves as General Yard Waste, Lose to Rocks

Reds went all seven straight wins on the Braves before losing a late lead yesterday. As I've stated before, the team appears to be peaking at the right time. They have second place in the Central firmly within their reach and the key seems to be not having Willy Taveras in the lineup or maybe it was having too few Willy-Taveras-type players in the lineup. If you're going to have one slap hitter who doesn't really like stealing bases that much any more, you should probably have an entire lineup full, which would be pretty sweet. Get Dave Roberts and Brett Butler out of retirement. See about acquiring Luis Castillo. Now that would be a lineup that doesn't clog up the bases.

Reds hold a particular grudge against the Braves, because of the trickle down of Mr. Redlegs racism and the team doesn't care for the city of Atlanta. So, they welcomed the Braves to town by crushing their spirit with a three-game sweep while Atlanta's vying for a playoff spot. Doesn't look good savages. Game three ended with Owing's sacking up and taking one off the dome with the bases loaded. That's a teammate. So, regardless of his limitations as a starting pitcher, he's a pretty solid guy and everyone likes him.

We also got to see another strong start from Arroyo. Looks like he has responded to all of that pre-trade deadline talk of his middling stuff and replacement-level peripherals. He's going to top 200 innings again and if he doesn't have to go back to Toronto, maybe, we could see an ERA dropping into the 3.00's. That would be a pretty nice season for someone who lists his main occupation as rock & rolla'.

Reds dropped the first game of the series with the Rocks yesterday but we won't spend too much time on that because of the seven wins that preceded the loss. The team was in position to take home the victory but Bailey had thrown 200 pitches through 5+ and Dusty claims that's the reason for the loss. Masset was in too early. So, nice to pile on your starter for turning in 5 solid innings. Offense was limited but Gomes took number 18 out of the park. Good power for a non-roster invitee. Maybe he'd like to return next year on a similar one-year deal so he has something to play for.

Despite the loss, Reds take next two. Mr. Redlegs bets his moustache on it.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Reds Sweep Up Pirates, Popcorn and Cat hair, Reds 5-3

The Cincinnatians wrapped up a very nice home series today against the Pittsburgh Shitbags. And by all indications, they will continue with the winning in Atlanta and Colorado. They owe the Rockies retribution for the disrespect from earlier in the season.

I didn't have time to write this morning on account of a very important appointment with my psychic. She predicted that I will eat a very delicious dinner within the next month. She is quite good. So, I didn't have an opportunity to comment on the win from yesterday. Reds attacked Maholm with swords and bandannas early and Lehr pitched adequately well through 6. Eleven runs in one game is something to which Reds fans are not treated to very often. Especially with the one reliable member of the offense, Votto, taking a day off to get his shit straight. Apparently, pitchers have found a way to attack his immense talent. I think he was just a little down after reading about the death of the world's oldest dog. That will get to anyone, depression diagnosis or not. Kevbo Barker filled in admirably with a couple of hits and everyone was quite pleased.

Homersexual was pretty good again today, setting a career high in strike outs and picked up a third consecutive win. He's starting to look like a legitimate major league starter with an ERA right at 5.90, which, if you will bear with me for a moment, is better than the 7.90-ish he was sporting 5 starts ago. Everyone able to follow that? Phillips looked good again today, removing a ball from the field of play, with use of the bat and driving in three runners. That RBI total, which everyone knows is of little, statistically anyway, value is making a strong march towards 100. Reggie Sanders never reached 100 rbis in a season and he is one, if not the best, player in the history of baseball. So, that will be quite an accomplishment should B.Phill be able to get there. He's going to treat himself to an extra piece of garlic toast tonight.

Finally, Stubby picked up three more hits and another bomb. Looks like I should take some time to denigrate the power numbers of some of the other players on the team. Four bombs in 15 games is pretty hot. The next couple weeks, once the league starts to find the inevitable holes in his approach should give us an idea of what kind of player he is going to be. If he keeps this up, no reason opening day center shouldn't be his job. Baseball Prospectus finds the greatest comparison to Stubbs' future game in Mike Cameron. I suppose that would be considered a compliment to be compared to a long time major league regular, if the comparison wasn't to Mike Cameron.

Reds finally expanded the roster today adding Pedro Viola. I had a chance to see Pedro throw a few times in the Fall League and he looked pretty subtastic, similar to those numbers, with the exception of the strikeouts, at Louisville. Regardless, nice to get all of these young guys up so we can go into next season optimistic. For those of you ingrates who've given up on this season. Only 13 games under .500, nothing that a trip to Hotlanta won't cure. Reds are great, that is all. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Reds Play Two, Win Two

Reds did a convincing impression of a solid baseball team yesterday. The Kipster went 6 strong innings in the opener. The 5 fans who were in attendance at the early game were treated to a Pirates-special form of victory, walk-off wild pitch/passed ball, I haven't seen the official score, sure looked like a passed ball, with two outs in the 9th. Tough break for the Bucos.

Game two saw the return of Cueto from the DL and he looked like he's been revitalized. The three weeks of drinking green tea on the disabled list had him all jacked up. He threw 5 solid innings and picked up his first win in about 6 months. In both games we saw bombs from Stubbs at the top of the order. He's still striking out every at bat but his average is climbing and he's showcasing a little power and making Wilmy totally expendable/DFA-able. Phillips, fresh off a story about his sore wrist, pledging vengeance against the guy who hit him, went 3 for 4 in the second game with a bomb and a second bomb which was taken away upon review. He wrote the name of the home plate umpire in his hat too and is 'going to get him back.' Maybe he'll sleep with his wife.

So, the Reds are peaking at the right time, 20 games back of the Cardinals. They still have multiple games remaining with the Pirates so let's set the goal of catching the Cubs and adding more public embarrassment to their season. Not that finishing behind the Reds is embarrassing. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Reds Extend Streak Then Begin New, Less Popular One, Dodgers, 3-2

Homeboy was lights-out Friday night, throwing a career high 8 innings and striking out 7 Dodgers. As has been widely mentioned, his fastball was still hitting 98 (on the home radar gun, but still) during his last inning of work. That's some premium gasoline. Now with that kind of arm along with Arroyo, Lehr, possibly Owings rounding out the rotation, the Reds are seeing the beginning of a very intimidating rotation. Arroyo was throwing that same sort of gas yesterday, pumping in 85 mph cheese into the 7th inning. And we all know about Lehr's velocity, described as 'underwhelming.' Big time.

The Reds showed up for the national FOX audience on Saturday, for about 6 innings anyway. Baloney gave up 4 in the first before settling and then unsettling and leaving with the Dodgers up 5-4. The Reds offense, after showing some heart, maybe even a little passion, coming back to tie the game at 4, then failed, in consecutive innings to score with the bases loaded. The 6th was on account of B. Phill's buddy, Orlando Hudson, or O-dog, making a fine, but infuriating, play on Rolen's liner up the middle. The pen, after watching the offense struggle, decided they weren't going to keep the game close anymore. They let the Dodgers unload and went home to the wives or mistresses. Of note, Craig Tatum and Janish Yanish both homered. Saturday will be the only time that ever happens.

Yesterday, offense was back to slow and lazy. Scoring two then relying on extra-innings to make their move. They didn't. Coco had some control issues and the Dodgers scored the go-ahead on a sac fly by Kemp. Broxton was wild in the Reds' half of the 12th, walking Rosales and Cork. But he overmatched Balentien and Stubbs, then pointed to the sky and the game was over.

Reds open a very interesting series with a double header with the P-rats today. Very interesting in the amount of interest in the game which is close to none. The Reds Rocket will be tuning in and the Reds begin another extended winning streak. Kip in the opener. Dusty's expecting big things and a long outing. I expect the same.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Reds Punch Themselves in the Face with Their Fists, Reds Sweep 8-5

Pictured to the left is D.McD, owner of the game winning hit from last night's 10th inning victory over the, how about, hapless Brewers. The Kipster made his first start in about 5 years and was pretty decent, until he left one over the inning half of the plate to Cecil Jr. who hammered it out to right. He looks as if he ate an entire tofu buffalo or perhaps the American bison before the game but he sure can rake. So, Kip left down 3-2. But the Reds, as we've grown so accustomed, fought back, tied things up in the 8th, thanks to some Brewers shitty play then McDonald finished the game with a double to left-center in the 10th.

Today, Lehr had a tough first inning but the offense picked him up. Lehr actually ended up pitching passably well, sticking around for 7 and 2/3rds before a Mike Cameron shot sent him to the showers. Janish Yanish had two(?) doubles in the same game. Votto went 3 for 4 with a bomb and a double and Rolen had a key two-out RBI single in the Reds big inning, the 5th. Which, of course, all started with Bush walking Lehr to start the rally. That's exactly how Chris Bosio teaches these Brewers arms.

So, what we're learning is that this Reds team is very, very good. They just needed to get rid of some of bigger talents/dead weight. Stubbs put some good swings on the ball and it's looking more and more like the offseason crocodile attack is going to sideline Wilmy for next season. Defense is likely a slight upgrade with Stubbs and if he can get on base one out of every eight at bats or so, everyone is happy. Dodgers roll into town tomorrow to drop three staight. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Arroyo Continues to Be One Reliable Member of Rotation, Update* Reds 8-6

* As I just remembered, I tuned out last night with the Reds up 6-2 in the 9th with Burton on the mound. Apparently, some things happened after that point and I didn't look at the boxscore until now. So, I will leave the below alone because most of it remains very much the same and I am very, very lazy. Regardless of my inattentiveness, Reds are the big weiners.

As any knowledgeable fan knew coming into the season, Arroyo is on his way to leading the team in nearly every significant pitching statistics, notably post game concerts and covers of Staind songs. He tied the Brewers up last night for 7 innings and punched them in the stomach while the new and improved Reds offense, featuring both Corky Miller and Darnell McDonald, for a third of the game anyway. Cork, who was drafted by the Reds way back in the same class as Dunn and Kearns, has hung around the major leagues on his good looks and charming personality. Fortunately, the Reds are in need of just that type of guy. He, according to the press release, calls a good game and wasn't going to take Arroyo out of his groove. Sounds good. He even added a couple of hits. Nice job Cork, good to see you again.

With the win last night, looks like the Reds have finally figured things out. With a rookie with less than 30 at bats leading things off, followed by Yanish Janish and lofty low .200's batting average, Dusty's assembled a lineup where it is impossible not to score some runs. You round out the lineup with Rosales and Cork/Tatum followed by the pitcher and you've really got something. Though, nice to see Rolen's return and fine play. Four hits in one night by someone other than Votto? That is simply not believable. Reds continue fine play today. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Reds Stick with Strategy to Win One Out of Every Three, 4-1

Bailey was sharp yesterday, throwing 7 innings against a Pittsburgh offense who is there only to be exploited by opposing pitchers. Despite the performances in games one and two of the series, the Reds Rocket stands by the preceding sentence. Bailey worked 7 nice innings, only confronted with trouble in the first, in picking up his third win of the season. He now has that ERA down to the more appropriate mid-6.00 range. That's what everyone was expecting with his draft selection.

I hadn't gotten around to commenting on the final game of the Giants' series last Thursday, the one where Harang pitched very well and Stubbs won it with his first career home run, a walk-off. Everyone seemed pretty excited that day. Especially after I had mentioned, in passing, that Stubbs has not developed the power stroke he demonstrated in the mid-minors. He showed me. So exhausted after the celebration at home plate, was the team, that they were unable to do anything against Pirates pitching on Friday and Saturday. And speaking of Harang, his appendix was about to explode, so he'll be taking the rest of the season off. Too bad for the big guy, another disappointing stat line, 6-14 with a 4.21 ERA. That ERA's not bad but it appeared to be on its way back down after a series of mediocre starts. Little known fact, the appendix is used to break down harder substances in the digestive system, like tree bark or bones. And with Harang's regular diet of human bones, it just couldn't hold up. He is scheduled to be the recipient of an experimental appendix transplant procedure. The doctor behind it, Dr. Allen Allen, his friends and colleagues call him Al, is confident that Harang's new appendix will work just as well as his previous, inflamed one.

The team also said so long to Chris Dickerson. He'd been back for about 10 days before getting injured trying to return to first base on a pick-off throw. Looks like Stubbs is going to be the every day centerfielder for a while. We'll just have to see if he can provide Tavares-like numbers. That's a hard act to follow. Team heads to Milwaukee for a big game tomorrow. Everyone tune it. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Reds Change Things Up, Drop First Two to Giants

Arroyo continued his stretch of quality starts yesterday, putting together a solid 8-inning rockshow with only the one run allowed. The Reds offense, however, felt they had done some pretty good work Tuesday night and were done for the day. And Votto left with blurry vision brought on by depression and Lupus.

After providing Homeboy with a 5-1 run lead in the 6th, of course with the best arm in the league, next to Justin Lehr, Lincecum, on the hill, but Bailey orchestrated a pretty nice little comeback by the Giants. He loaded up the bases, of course striking out Sandoval but then walking Bengie Molina, and Randy Wynn knocked in a couple with a double, then Ryan Garko knocked in the tying runs with a single. There is no reason that Randy Wynn should be getting any hits and Bailey knows that. And the offense knows that, hence the no runs scored for Arroyo yesterday.

The Reds offense took a hit yesterday when their leadoff hitter with the .275 OBP landed on the DL with a bad case of Corey Patterson Syndrome. So, Drew Stubbs made his big league debut last night in center. He went 1 for 4 and we'll have to see how he matches up with big league pitching. In the early minors he'd shown some nice power in addition to good speed and well-above average defense in center. He's decided to go away from the power, in order to cut out some of the strikeouts. Even if he's completely overmatched, should be an upgrade for the team. Also, Cueto likely on the DL. Good to see all of the young pitchers wearing out and getting hurt. The future seems bright.

Harang takes the ball tonight again Matt Cain, who the Reds handled the last meeting. Expect a similar result today.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Watching Reds Will Kill You and Your Two Children, Nats 5-4

Mr. Redlegs took soom time out of his busy schedule to pose with a weird-looking dude and a giant python. He offered to show the photographer the python he has inside his oversized baseball pants. Mr. Redlegs lacks discretion when he's on the bottle.

The Reds Rocket apologizes for the delay in writing about the Reds. The three loyal readers who remain through this lengthy season have shown their disapproval through silence. I get the message. The Reds Rocket was actually out of town last week, very important business. Cat lovers convention in Denver. I will post the calender to prove it.

Way back last week the Reds showed quite a bit of promise in game one versus the Nats, after dropping the series to the Cardinals. Gomes opened things up with a huge outpouring of offense. Three bombs in one game? That deserves an exclamation point. ! And Arroyo was nearly equally as good, two hits over nine for his second complete game shutout of the season. He took a few of those non-MLB endorsed supplements and dropped his ERA by about a third of a run with some big league salad. This series is going to be a lot of fun to watch.

But then the Reds turned the car around, because the kids wouldn't shut the fuck up, and headed back to Shittiville. They dropped the next three games in a variety of ways. Game two featured a fine outing by Harang, just the two solo shots over 7 but the offense was impotent. Game three featured Cueto getting shelled followed by four innings of Kip Wells, which is never a good sign. And today, the Reds had a late lead before the Nats rallied on a play that wasn't made followed by a play which should have been made. "Alert baserunning" or alert anything isn't something which graces a Nationals recap more than a couple time a season but the Reds got to see it today. At least Dusty's got these guys focused on not giving up on the season. They're going to be out there everyday not making plays at maximum effort every day for the rest of the season.

Finally, the Reds said goodbye to their broken down shortstop Alex Gonzalez. Injuries removed many of the assets which prompted his signing two years ago but the Red Sox seem to welcome his arrival. In the one at bat of Gonzo's which I saw today against the Rangers, he doubled to left. That doubles his season extra-basehit total. Keep up the good work in Boston. We'll enjoy garbage-time reliever Janish Yanish getting a full time job look at the starting shortstop job.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Justin Lehr is Uncomfortable Around Children But Competent Major League Starter, Reds 5-4

Lehr's line looked a little odd last night, 6+ innings with just the 11 hits allowed but that concerns him little, he picked up win number two which is just as many as Homeboy has in about 12 more starts. Since Lehr and Bailey have similar stuff, it's proper to compare the paths of their respective seasons.

Alex Gonzalez had a month's worth of hits last night, going 4 for 5 with a double bringing that average all the way up to .217. That and we saw the return of Dickerson to the outfield, which allows me to gloss over Rolen's trip to the DL with a sore brain. Let's talk about Chris Dickerson's ability to get on base 4 times at the top of the order, rather than other topics, like a DL trip for the big acquisition. At least Encarnacion was only featured once on the highlight shows last night.

Masset wasn't terribly successful in his new role as double hyphenated right-handed set-up man last night. He gave up a bomb to Pujols and a double to Molina and was charged with a couple of runs. Arty cleaned up his mess. Coco opted to keep things interesting by allowing the fourth Cardinals run of the evening but eventually shut things down. Reds plan on taking the series today from Chris Carpenter. He's overrated. Reds! Reds! Reds!r

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cueto Pulls Up Lame, Put Out to Stud for Time Being, Cardinals 4-1

Cueto only last 2 innings last night before straining a hip flexor while taking his swings at the plate. This may not have happened if he would just push a bunt up the first base line every single at bat. Now he knows. At least now his handlers can focus on collecting his seed and implanting it into some of the more fertile female hanger-ons. Soon there will be a whole army of undersized hard-throwing offspring under lifelong contracts with the Reds. Just wait 20 years, the Reds will be back on top.

So, of the once-promising pitching staff, the Dominicans are both injured, Harang and Arroyo carry and combined 4.75 ERA. Fortunately, the team has Homer Bailey and Micah Owings. Those guys are life savers. And of course Justin Lehr, back on the hill tonight for his second complete game shut out of his career. Everything should be fine for the rest of the year.

Reds managed only 1 run against Lohse and the Cardinals bullpen. Votto seems to be settling into the 4th spot in the order. He picked up a couple of hits and reached on an error. Slump time may be finally over. Rolen missed another game due to a large comical bump that grew out of his head when he was hit by Marquis' pitch. It's slowly going down. It's not like the Flinstones when you can just pound the bump down with a mallet. You need expensive surgical tools, like that hammer they use to check the reflexes in your knee. Reds doctors, unfortunately, don't have that sort of technology available to them. They have a whole room full of leeches and boring tools to let the evil spirits out of the players' brains. Dusty endorses all medical techniques utilized by the training staff.

Now, as incorrectly stated yesterday, today is Lehr's turn on the hill. I was a little overzealous. He faces a guy by the name of Mitch Boggs. Sounds like the name of someone who likes to give up a lot of hits to struggling offenses.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Reds Take Series, Skyline Loses Number One Customer

Reds looked more like an average or slightly below average team in San Francisco over the weekend. That is a major improvement from the team that was only slightly better than the Nationals for much of last week. Now the Reds get to go to St. Louis and make them make statements like "This is a series that we really thought we should win." Yeah, tough break Matt Cain. Bozo.

Bailey wasn't particularly bad on Friday, he just made two mistakes - one to the eldest of the Molinas and the other to Eugenio Velez, who, for some reason killed the Reds all weekend. If that's what he's really going to play like every scout who's ever looked at him must have made a mistake. At least he made that horrible throw to the plate yesterday, allowing the runners to move up on base where they were stranded. That about evens everything up.

Arroyo pitched pretty well Saturday, he found a new "legal" supplement which has been helping with his velocity of late. But the Reds offense just couldn't get anything going against Barry Zito from 5 years ago. Having watched that outing, you wouldn't think he'd be the owner of the worst contract in baseball history. But he is. Enjoy another 12 years of decreased velocity at around $20 million per annum Giants fans. I know you're reading this and it hurts.

And finally, yesterday, Harang got his first win of the year throwing 7+ solid innings. The Giants potent offense wasn't able to get anything going all day except for the 8th when, after being left in to hit with the bases loaded, Harang allowed three straight hits including one to Rich Aurilia (barf). New 8th inning man, Masset came in and got Sandoval to ground into a double play and the threat was officially over. Speaking of, ordinarily that would have been the roll of David Weathers who would come in, go 3-0 on Sandoval, Brennaman would go 'here we go again', before throwing 2 strikes, followed by about 15 foul ball before getting the double play or allowing a bases-clearing double. He's been a good friend to Cincinnatians. He stated, though not particularly excited to go, he is excited to reunite with old pal Big Frucking Nasty in Milwaukie. Those two are thick as thieves. 'Hey Dave, let's see who can eat the most fried cheese without crapping their uniform pants.'

As stated, Reds next stop on the vindication tour is in St. Louis today where they dominate Kyle Lohse and his funny little beard. Justin Lehr laughs at the idea of facing Pujols and Holiday back to back. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Thursday, August 6, 2009

As Expected, Lehr Complete Game Shutout, Reds Dominate Cubs 4-0

The Reds big ol' losing streak came to an end last night due in large part to the great outing of Justin Lehr. Last night was Lehr's second career start and as ESPN continually reported, first career shutout. One for two isn't bad. I am pretty confident he can maintain the start:shutout ratio. That is, if he keeps his spot in the rotation. Owings is set to come off the DL by the time the fifth starter's spot comes up again. So, might be happy trails for Mr. Lehr. It's too bad because he feature a nice variety of tossed salad and the more of those guys in the rotation, the better. Five Bronson Arroyos flipping up 70 mph curveballs would be pretty sweet.

Scott Rolen's beard provided the offense last night, taking one out of the yard in the first giving the Reds a two-run cushion which, as we've seen consistently throughout the year, is insurmountable. After achieving the winning margin at such an early stage of the game, the Reds didn't even feel like getting on base much for the rest of the game. Willy Taveras actually provided 40% of the offense last night with two of the five hits. He even stole a couple of bases. Way to make an impact other than on defense Willy and other than negative on offense. I think he needs to incorporate more bunting into his skill set. Two groundouts to the pitcher a game is pretty good but three would be better.

Reds get a day off to rest and relax before heading out west to face the Giants. Lincecum had better be ready for the one beating he takes a year because it's coming, tomorrow night.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Reds Lose? Inconceivable, Cubs 6-3

Things didn't look great from the outset yesterday as Cueto loaded up the count on the Cubs leadoff hitter, the Fukudome turned on one and gave the Cubs a 1-0 lead without anything else happening prior. Horry Kow. Leadoff homers hurt but those allowed to Fukudome are killers.

Cueto eventually settled down for a few innings before giving up four more in the 6th. His inability to pitch well is a bit troubling, especially based upon how is season began. He was a legitimate All-Star candidate, of course until he visited Philadelphia and gave up 9 runs without making it out of the 1st inning. I think the solution is, one which Dusty actually proposed, is to pitch him more regularly. Get him out there every other day, throwing as many pitches as possible. That will soothe his tired and aching arm. That, or next season don't pitch so well to begin the season. You've got to work into it or everyone is going to be expecting quality outings all season.

The losing streak extends to 8 games. Not too bad. A streak of that length takes work. You'd think, by sheer luck, someone in the lineup would have a huge day or a starter would throw 8 innings of one-hit ball but that hasn't happened. The starters have been just bad enough to lose and the offense has been all around awful. At least that Scott Rolen deal is paying dividends. He's helped solidify the lineup by sitting on the bench with a bandage full of ice wrapped around his dome. Like a turban. Last night we did get to see a little bit out of Wladimir Balentien. He hit two balls sharply early in the night, both of which resulted in outs. Then went deep in the 9th. He appeared to have a little ability early in his career with Seattle. And he has that big mole of power on his face. It glows a greenish color when he's about to put a good swing on a pitch. It was luminescent during the 9th inning last night. The fans in attendance reported is was 'magical.' Watch for it. Reds hammer Hard-on today.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Harang Takes Loss, Rage at Dangerous Level, Cubs 4-2

Reds dropped their 7th consecutive last night. They're really making that August push necessary to propel them into the lower fifth of all the teams in baseball. Dusty's boys now have an identical record to the Pirates, at the bottom of the Central, and are only a game ahead of the Indians, Orioles and Padres in the standings for the second worst team in baseball. At least the Nats and their historical awfulness basically assure themselves the top pick in next year's draft.

Dusty remains optimistic. He told reporters that he is still pretty certain that Harang is going to win 20 and Willy Taveres will hit .300 with 50 bags. I think those are both realistic goals and am glad to hear that the manager stands behind his players. He also reconsidered and said that he predicts that Corey Patterson is going to merry his daughter. Everything is going to be okay for the Reds for this season and forever.

Back to last night's game. The Reds continued to be mystified by Randy Wells who went eight and gave up a single run on an Alex Gonzalez homer. Gonzalez, who didn't start due to generally terrible play, also drove in the Reds other run in the 9th with a double. Harang wasn't bad at all in picking up his 13th loss of the season. He did give up a home run to Mike Fontenot, which is unforgiveable but after that he shut down the Cubs and struck out a season high 10. Sure he stayed one inning too long, you're not going to walk Fukudome if you're not starting to wear out, but innings 3-7 were pretty solid. But, still loss. In fact he's not all that troubled with the idea of losing 20, he knows Mike Maroth and looks forward to joining him and the limited number of modern-day players who have met the milestone. The Reds, however, did have to order a new vending machine for the clubhouse. Harang gave it a piledriver to get at the snacks inside then threatened to cut anyone who got within 10 feet of his candy surplus. He made the blade in between innings by burning tape with a lighter. They don't let him have weapons, other than his fists, in the clubhouse ever since he attacked Kent Mercker last season with a throwing star. Those are things you're just going to have to deal with if you're not going to give him any offensive support.

Reds break the streak today and win every game for the rest of the season. They just need to relax and have fun out there. That's the key.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Deadline Moves Revitalize Reds, Rockies Sweep

Wait a minute, that subject line seems to imply that the Reds somehow got better with the flurry of activity which immediately preceded the trade deadline. That's right, the Reds Rocket has resorted to the lowest form of humor, sarcasm, to help cope with the terrible play of the Reds of late. For those of you keeping track, that's 12 losses in 13 games and a modest streak of 6 straight in the L column.

The Rockies came in to Cincinnati and played good defense and pitched well enough to leave town with the first three games of the season versus the Redlegs. Arroyo pitched pretty well yesterday, going 7 and allowing on the the three runs. The offense even showed a little bit of uncharacteristic heart on a couple of bombs; a three-run shot by Nix in the 7th and a solo bomb by Votto in the 8th to tie it. But in extras, the offense vanished and Masset gave up an RBI triple to Fowler followed by a roller by Atkins that emphasized Gonzalez's arthritis in his throwing arm and that was it. Phillips was already in the left-handed batter's box on the third strike he took to close things out. Dusty looked disappointed but optimistic. He's got this team headed in the right direction and you and all of your friends know that.

Lehr was adequate Friday, in his first career start, but Bailey was less so Saturday. The team, courtesy of Gomes, actually provided him with a lead. But he wasn't all that interested in hanging onto it, giving up 5 over 5 +. He has a goal to finish the season with an ERA over 7.00, which the 5 runs were necessary to sustain. That's a good goal and the Reds Rocket encourages you, Homer, to reach for it. You can attain it.

Additionally, news, likely of the bad variety, yesterday it was reported that during his throwing session Volquez felt some tightness in his elbow and is going to hit the shelf for the remainder of the season. Tommy John may be necessary but no one really seems to know. As per team Dr. Kremchick 'there's some shit wrong in that motherfucker but that's all I can say at this point.' At least Hamilton's hitting in the seven hole and Herrera has had a nice season out of the pen. So, that's a bit of a set-back for the rotation which, at the beginning of the season, looked to be the major asset of the team. Sure, the Reds still have Harang getting shelled every outing, Cueto unable to find the strike zone and Arroyo's 4 good starts sandwiched in between 6 or 7 awful, so, nothing to be too down on. At least Scott Rolen's here and his helmet didn't crack when he was bonked in the dome yesterday. Technology is amazing.

Reds continue the successful homestand today. Go out there and support the team, you'll be happy that you did.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Trade Deadline: Reds Get Old, Fans Love It

On Friday Jocketty and the front office simulteously acquired an aging third baseman in Scott Rolen and a fine young man by the name of Chase Weems and ridded the franchise of some dead weight in the way of power bullpen arms. There was simply no room in the pen for Roenicke or Manuel, shipped out previously in the Balentien deal, who were not in their 40's and throw too damn hard to get any work for Dusty. The Reds also tricked the Jays into accepting Zach Stewart who has progressed rather quickly through the system after being drafted out of Texas Tech but clearly has no future. Enjoy that 95 mph fastball people of Toronto. Suckers.

The Reds also said adios to long time friend of the Reds Rocket Edwin Encarnacion. Eddie who, apparently, raised his arms in triumph after being informed of the trade, was ready to get out of town. He didn't even waste his time talking with reporters after the deal. He was ready to get out of town. He's heard lots of nice things about Toronto from Votto. His bat never really got going this season after he pulled up lame early in the season and ended up missing 2/3rd of the season to date. The Reds Rocket will miss the aloof attitude, 4-6 inaccurate throws a week and, when healthy, above-average bat.

Rolen comes to Cincinnati bringing his strong glove to third base. He's even been hitting a little bit this year, though, the detractors point to the .370 batting average on balls in play. That's a little high, so his success may be subject to somewhat of a caveat. That and his ever dwindling power, likely make the acquisition subject to at least a little scrutiny. But he's old and he's got a sore back, so I am willing to cut him a little slack. At least his brain still feels great, as he hasn't gotten hit in the head with a pitch this season. At least he comes cheap, only the $11 million owed to him next season. That's only 7 million more than Eddie's getting next year and all those groundballs he's going to field make this look like a real winner. Looks like Jocketty's done it again.

Hairston's also gone. In return the Reds got a A-ball player, Weems. Didn't the Reds just draft a high school catcher who was supposed to cover the position for the next many years? I can't recall specifically. Something about Punxatawny and some 'bad weight gain' seems to come to mind. So, we'll be expecting Chase to play the 7 positions that Hairston could handle, preferably within the next couple of weeks. Get to it kid.

The Reds Rocket has no idea how the moves are going to work out. The Reds seem, at least according to everyone who reviewed the trades, to have gotten less than they gave up. At least they're watching that tight payroll of next season. You have to like the direction this team is heading.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Reds Cap Series With Loss, Grief Turns to Acceptance, Padres 7-4

A google images search revealed the following picture representing the term 'acceptance.' The Reds Rocket has finally reached that point; monkey petting a bird. It took a while but three out of four going to the Padres at home provides some indication that the team's postseason hopes may be limited. Limited until you remember the impending 30-game winning streak which begins tonight with Homer Bailey's best pal, Justin Lehr taking the hill for his first career big league start. Reds are still in this - empty out the farm system to get an aging Scott Rolen to play 3rd.

Cueto's start yesterday was not great. His last many starts have not been great. Though, his defense didn't help him out. In the 5th, Eddie, fresh off hitting into a rally killing double play, made a bad throw on a potential double play ball. Cueto then punished Encarnacion for his misplay by serving up a double to Chase Headley, drilling the next batter in the back, then three-run bomb to Venable. Thombo stated that Cueto 'looks unhappy leaving the field' after recording the final out. Six runs is about three-games worth, so the team wasn't having anything to do with that. Looks like Dusty's famous Hank Aaron speech failed to adequately fire the team up. After last night's game it was his semi-famous 'I know you guys hates me well I assure you that I would kill each and everyone of you in your sleep, if it weren't for this nagging arthritis in my left batting glove hand' speech. We'll see how the team responds against the Mountains tonight. My guess is big victory. Reds rebound, accept both bird and monkey.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Reds Say It's Okay To Stop Supporting Them Now, Padres 7-1

Last night the team made it pretty clear that Gapper is the only one out there who a Reds fan can feel good about supporting. Harang was awful and put up a solid one run on one hit. Nice job guys. Hopefully Dusty gave everyone his famous speech about Hank Aaron after the game. You know, the one where he tells everyone that he is personal friends with Hank Aaron. That always inspires.

So, looks as if the Reds are going to have to win today to earn a split with the Padres which is not what the Reds Rocket predicted coming into the series. Cueto is back on the mound but appears to have forgotten that early in the season he was reliable and effective. Also, it's probably the day for the second team offense to head out there which is going to be a major step down from the offense that we've been seeing for the last month or so.

In big other Reds-related news, Reds acquired Wladimir Balentien from the Mariners for Robert Manuel. Manuel you'll remember as the product acquired from the Mets for everyone's favorite sack of shit, Dave Williams. In addition to being named Wladimir, Balentien offers some plus power and a skill set popular on the current Reds roster, the ability to kill AAA pitching combined with being completely overmatched at the big league level. Wladimir was given the opening day job with the Mariners last year and was somewhere south of fantastic. He was given regular at bats this year and was putting up .213/.271/.355 numbers. Not too bad. He's going to stick around with the big club and strike out in a few big situations. Nice to meet you Wladimir. Enjoy yourself in Cincinnati.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Reds Don't Discriminate - Give Kevin Correia Same Treatment as Good Pitchers, Padres 3-2

Reds offense went back to staying in the yard and being relative quiet for game two in the series with the Priests. They managed only two runs and six hits, though one of those 6 hits hit the bag at first and wound up being the first of Craig Tatum's major league career. I had predicted that it would be another couple of months before he reached that milestone. Tatum and Jonny Gomes drove in the only two runs of the game. At least Eddie got a couple more knocks, and looks as if he me be emerging from underneath the slump where he'd found himself trapped for the last week or so. Good for you, now people will only complain about your poor defense at third. Not the Reds Rocket, of course, we think you're doing a fine job over there at the hot corner.

Arroyo wasn't all that bad in picking up his tenth loss of the season. He gave up a lot of hits but the game was tied when he left with one out in the seventh. Of course, he left the go ahead run over at 3rd but that's why you have hard-throwing relievers, to get a strike out. Or I suppose, just to get outs but in that case it would have been preferred for Masset to record a strike out as opposed to the fly ball which scored what ended up being the winning run. There's talk of Arroyo or Harang getting fitted for a new uniform. On mlbtraderumors, which I understand to be just a guy with no particular connections to anything other than what we can all read on the internet, should we have the time to look, Harang and Arroyo were characterized as 'second tier starter' akin to Jon Garland and Doug Davis. Implying that interest may be limited, especially due to the millions of dollars owed to both arms next season. So, the conclusion is that the Reds will likely get to keep both players which is good for those of us who like rock shows and also those who like quality starting pitching.

Reds rebound today and take the series. Count on it.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Reds Give Winning a Try, Reds 6-4

The days that Jonny Gomes has some impact on the outcome are the days that searching for pictures to accompany posts are the most enjoyable. Disregard the Rays uniform and focus on Gomes involved in some sort on wrestling match i.e. donnybrook, where, instead of a singlet, he's wearing a cut-off jersy, jeans and sneakers. The guy laying on the mat was the victim of a double-axe handle.

Turns out Gomes can also hit a little bit. He went yard twice yesterday bringing his season total to 10. In limited play, Gomes is slugging over .600. If only he wasn't such a ligity-liability in the field with the range of a turtle and depth perception of a mule he'd really be helping out the team. Phillips got things started off correctly with a three-run bomb off starter Geer(?). The homer followed Votto getting tossed for arguing balls and strikes. That's the second time in about a month where Joey's taken personal offense to the call of an umpire and was polite enough to offer some constructive criticism. He'll be back today, screaming at the field umpires about their calls on the bases.

Eddie also went deep and Homeboy managed 7.1 innings of quality baseball. Had he not given up back to back bombs to Adrien Gonzalez and some guy who hits in front of Gonzalez in the Padres lineup, the start would have been even more impressive. But, with as poor as the Reds starters have been, nice to see someone make it out of the 5th. Coco hadn't pitched in about a month and showed it when Kevin Kouzmanoff went yard. Ordinarily that doesn't happen. Reds continue to sweep the Padres today to even things up for that series in May. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Reds Have NL Central Right Where They Want It, Cubs Sweep

Long weekend for the Reds, lots of no offense and relatively poor starting pitching. The Reds Rocket was pretty fired up when Harang hit the three-run jack Friday afternoon but increasingly less excited with each run he gave up to allow the Cubs to even the score and then pull ahead. That marked Papa Goulash's 11th. Not great for a quality arm. I am certain of one thing, I would hate to be one of his giant children when he comes home without a win for the twelfth consecutive attempt. Battle royale in the middle of the Harang family great room. They don't bother talking out problems, Harang settles things with his fists.

Saturday, Cueto had a bad opening frame then settled down before giving up the go-ahead run to Alfons, who appears to have acclimated himself to his new position in the lineup. According to the Cubs announcers yesterday, who cannot be trusted because they're liars and mentally unfit to be talking with others, said that Soriano is hitting nearly .400 in the six hole and .220-something everywhere else in the lineup. He just needed Fukudome hitting behind him in the lineup to get him started.

Yesterday, Votto homered in the 1st but, as he is the only source of offense, no one else did much of anything. Owings' shoulder stiffened up and he took from the 4th inning off but not before he gave up the 2nd run of the game which, of course, proved to be an insurmountable deficit. All in all, pretty rough stretch of games for the team that everyone likes. Jocketty is talking about improving the team, instead of dismantling, which is clearly the smart decision. All of these losses are necessary for the team to go on its 45-game win streak starting mid-August. Dusty knows its coming that's why he's not too concerned. He's also happy that now with Dickerson's injury he doesn't have to explain himself when he's running Willy out there every day. That's a huge load off his aging back. Taveras and his 15 stolen bases are the match that ignites the offense.

Reds get to play the Padres today which is a relief. Some guy named Geer on the hill today which equals Reds offensive explosion.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Manny's Bobbling Head Beats Reds, Dodgers 6-2

The Reds continued their conscientious objection to winning at Chavez Ravine last night. Though Arroyo's strong start, at least until you look at the boxscore, was a nice surprise, based on the starts from the Reds' other long arms. The Reds Rocket also approved of his postgame statements - deferring to Dusty's decision to go with Masset but at the same time saying it was wrong and that was why they lost. Everybody enjoy insubordination from time to time. Relaxes the clubhouse.

The team was offensively challenged again last night but at least Billingsly provides something of an excuse. He has pretty solid stuff. Fortunately, the Reds only have to see the Dodger, or more accurately, Ramirez, three more times this year in Cincinnati. Hopefully by that time they, the Dodgers, will have the West locked up and have nothing more for which to play. Manny killed the staff the entire series. Even after getting hit on the hand. Bailey will just have to hit him in the face next time. It's hard to swing the bat where the swelling covers up the eyes. Reds take a day to relax and recollect on their fine play today before starting up with the Cubs. Though their play has been quite poor, I imagine the non-believers were surprised that it took this long into the season to be 6 games under .500. That just means they'll have to win the next six, which I'm pretty sure they will. The Cubs bite.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Reds Bad, Dodgers 12-3

Reds continued with their promise never to win again in L.A., at least while Dusty is in charge. He refuses to budge on this issue. Bailey and his cowboy hat only last 2 and 2/3rd and was shelled. That is two pretty awful starts since the All-Star Break. Maybe Justin Lehr needs to come up and teach him another pitch, since he won't listen to Dick Pole. 'Shut you goddamned mouth Pole. I'm the one wearing the cowboy hat.'

It's hard to criticize the offense when your starter gives up 9, so I'll save that for tomorrow. When I turned the game on I hadn't seen the lineups and Hanigan was up, so I'd assumed Bailey was on deck. Turns out Hanigan and his 5 extra basehits were hitting in the 6 hole followed by Janish-Yanish and Rosales. If you have to hold Phillips out of the lineup, might as well get all of the other light-hitting members of the lineup in there. Some may question Dusty holding B. Phill out where the offense is already, well, shitty. The Reds Rocket is not one of those detractors. Dusty knows many things and nearly all of them are related to hustle. If you're hitting .193 and running after drawing a walk, you have a place in this lineup.

Reds try and pick a game out of the garbage can tonight before their trip to beat the hell out of the Cubs in Chicago. I am confident the string of strong Arroyo starts will continue today. Nothing but offspeed and 85 mph fastballs.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Reds Don't Like L.A. or Randy Newman, Dodgers 7-5

Things started out pretty good against the broken down remains of Jason Schmidt last night as the Reds put up 3 in the first. But Phillips wasn't in a big hurry to get to second on the ball Ethier lost and Owings gave the Dodgers four in their half and the team's brief lead was gone, never to return again. At least Micah was able to get through five so they didn't have to empty out the entire bullpen. The Reds Rocket stresses the positives.

According to the Reds official site, that was the tenth consecutive loss by the Reds at Dodger Stadium, which is quite poor. Most of the players, when asked, say that L.A. is preferable to Pittsburgh and don't know why they always lose. Dusty blames the lack of hustle from the ballboys and the clubhouse managers. For scoring five runs, which constitutes an 'outburst' under this year's qualifiers, the Reds only managed 6 hits, 3 by B. Phill. The Reds Rocket, however, remains optimistic and will enjoy the next two wins to take the series. Homeboy back to dominating today.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Reds Split, Hooray 5-3

The Reds managed a split of the four games with the Brewers when Jon Gomes took one out in the 8th with a man on the basepaths. That made the Reds big weiners and allowed them to hit the road with their pride intact.

The team looked less good on the opening night, with Bailey getting knocked around, and Saturday night when Harango struggled through a patch of snakes in the 4th. Arroyo was lights out Friday. Extending his scoreless innings streak to 500. Nice job Bronson. I forget how long the effective stretches last. Four or five games followed by four or five terrible starts, I think is the pattern. Jocketty the genius will have a better idea what to do with the apparent excess of starting pitching by the time the terrible starts begin again. The most viable option appears, once Volquez is healthy, to allow the 6 starters to have some sort of complex breakdancing knife fight. The gutted fish loses his spot in the rotation.

Reds travel out west to play baseball with the Dodger and get to see Jason Schmidt, who I vaguely remember from about 3 years ago. Last I'd heard he entered the witness protection program on an Amish community. He was learning how to put up barns. That must have resolved itself because he's back facing the Reds with pitching peripherals which are not representative of the pitcher from several years past. That's what the Dusty and team have been looking forward to seeing. Willy hasn't hit a ball out of the infield in two weeks but has got his average up near .250, Encarnacion's fresh off 7 consecutive hits, and Hanigan's back in the lineup hitting singles. Not that we won't miss Hernandez but this offense is, clearly, on the verge of being the best in baseball.

Keep up the good work team. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Coco Looks Like A Big Fat All-Star

As with the last seven years, since Mr. Selig decided that the All-Star game should be worth more than just a fun time, the Reds are going to have to go on the road to win the World Title. The NL All-Star failed to win, as was programmed to be repeated by McCarverbot on the seventh pitch of each inning, for the 13th year in a row. There was that tie, which is of note. Of note for being the worst All-Star game since 1969 when hippies were given free tickets and Hells Angels provided security. I think one of the Angels knocked out second baseman Marty Balin prior to the game. Just for being a douche. It was totally uncool.

Lincecum looked like a nervous derelict, rather than a hipster who has chosen not to conform to your rules encouraging gainful employment, yet remaining confident in his book of beat poetry. He gave up a couple but the NL's fired back taking a 3-2 lead. The AL scored two more and the NL didn't bother getting anyone on base until the 8th when Howard managed only a half swing with some runners on the bags.

But who cares about any of that, other than the outcome. Coco, the lone Reds rep, looked real good. Showing the American League what they've been missing. He didn't feel like throwing too many pitches, so made quick work of things. That's someone I'd like to hire to sign autographs at my next Flag Day party. Those who are also interested, feel free to visit the site from which I've stolen the post picture.

The Reds Rocket has been on vacation, so please forgive the lack of comment on the Reds series. We're in the process of hiring an intern for $0. The request, to date, has been met with great interest. They will provide content regarding the Reds' excellent play when Timmons and Tiffee are too busy or hungry to write a solid entry. As a brief recap, Reds played a depleted Mets team, Arroyo dominated game one, then the next two games resulted in moral victories which Dusty will use to build a solid second half of the season. They did not result in victories, in the traditional win/loss definition.

The nerds at Baseball Prospectus have officially fallen into the category of 'potential victim(s)' with their prediction that the Reds have the 10th worst chance of making the playoffs at 4.5%. Watch it boys. Ray Jay has a lot of time and a lot of anger. Don't let the one good hand mislead you. He's poison in the bottle.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Reds Decide Phillies Can Have Season Series, They Have Better Things to do Anyway, Phills 9-6

Things started out pretty good for the Reds yesterday, Owings was rolling and Encarnacion tripled and homered in his first two at bats. But Owings gave up two with two out in the 3rd and 4th, then four in the 5th. Marty called Utley's inside-the-parker 'the easiest he has seen in all of his years as a broadcaster.' Which is certainly something. Nice job Willy and Dickerson. Either way, the Reds leave town with a 1-3 record to start the road trip. The Phanatic was firing his extendable crank late into the morning. At least the Reds play the Mets now.

The offense really wasn't that bad last night. As stated, they gave Owings a 3-0 lead with Jamie Moyer on the hill. Phillips hit a bomb and Encarnacion appears to be fully recovered, though we'll have to see how he handles pitchers throwing harder than 45 miles per hours. His only two hits last night were off Moyer whose salad is world renowned. Bruce got the night off to 'get his shit together.' Probably no reason he should be playing as poorly as he is. But, despite the overall poor offense, except on nights where the team gives up at least 9 runs, help is on the way. The Reds have signed Kip Wells to a minor league deal. I'm pretty sure he will be able to help the team. He was just released by the Nationals, the worst team I've seen in quite a while.

Arroyo's turn is up again and his recent string of starts have been subtastic. I think it's the carpal tunnel. He can't play the guitar between innings, which is bad for team moral. They like hearing Jack Johnson covers and accoustic renditions of Number of the Beast. Helps to clear their head. Reds start off with a win this evening.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Yeah, I Gave up the Winning Run, Want to Fight About It, Phillies 3-2

Though Bailey was sharp again, the Reds offense seems to be work hard, as the season goes on, to get worse. They were pretty bad to begin with so, they're putting in the extra hours poking each other in the eyes and trying to see how far they can hit the ball during batting practice. "Look, I'm swinging with the bat upside down" Bruce said to teammates. In the 3rd, they had the bases loaded with one in and none out and that turned out to be their one inning. Bruce hit into a double play to end the inning. That was it for the offense.

As stated, Bailey was pretty good. He gave up 9 hits over 6 but only allowed the two runs. One on a Howard single, after a Votto misplay allowed Victorino, the run scorer, on base and then a Werth homer in the 6th. Masset looked like he may be on his way back to reliability. And Weathers even struck out John Mayberry Jr. with a couple on in the 8th but couldn't finish the 9th. Victorino is a real asshole. Fouling off 20 pitches to get on base in the 8th, then driving in the winner. I am going to vote for Mark Reynolds to go to the All-Star game out of spite. Certainly not based upon ability. Final game of the series tonight. Hopefully, the fans start throwing batteries at Phillies management. It's always a possibility.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Reds Play A Little Better, Win Even, 4-3

Reds started things off slowly yesterday, they weren't down 10-0 in the first, but 3-0 in the 3rd with based loaded and no out. But Harang was able to fight his way out of it with a series of powerful blows. Then the team decided not to give up any more runs the rest of the way. Nice job Reds.

B Phill was the offense until the 9th. He hit two bombs, one with a friend on first. In the 9th Razor Ramon got sawed off but powered a single into center scoring Votto with what turned out to be the game winner. All-Star Coco closed things down in usual fashion. Prior to the game, Marty and Cowboy discussed, among other things, two points, the 50 at bats or so since Ryan Howard had hit a bomb and the current slump that Phillips is/was in. So, today they need to focus their discussion on how long Willy Tavares has been shitty and it's been several months since they saw Jonny Gomes eat a burrito in the dugout. I would like to see both of those things.

Reds have two more with the Phills before heading to New York to beat on the Mets. Homeboy on the hill today, hopefully that splitter still works. Reds! Reds! Reds!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Reds Lose in Close One, Phillies 22-1

Nice outing by Cueto yesterday. He recorded two outs, before taking a seat on the bench with his team down 10-0 in the first inning. Granted, he only gave up 9 of the runs and only 7 when he left, so it's not all his fault. I'm pretty sure the Reds would have come back from 7-0, but 10-0 is a spirit-breaker.

ESPN said that this is the record-setting seventh time that the Reds have given up 10 in the first inning. Another record for the Reds, congratulations. I think that's probably more due to the fact that they've been around the longest, rather than they are historically bad. Everybody on the pitching staff, with the exception of the two rookies, was pretty bad yesterday. Herrera got pounded and Masset continues his downslide. What happened to that effective late-inning arm? Marty and Cowboy were calling blowout after Cueto walked Rollins to lead off the game. 'It's going to be a long game in this park if you're not going to throw strikes.' Turns out it was a pretty long game. At least Gomes' homer put them on the board.

Onto the positives, the Reds don't have to see Hamels again. He has treated the Reds with much disrespect since he came up with the Phills. I'm pretty sure I could pick up a win with a 12-run lead. So, he got the win but he didn't earn it and that has to hurt inside a little bit. Also, looks as if I was premature in congradulating Janish Yanish earlier this season for his first career appearance. He got in the game again and was just as awful. Fortunately he's a light-hitting shortstop, so he doesn't have to worry about doing anything other than throwing strikes. And he struck a man out. I don't know who because it's amazing how many things seems more interesting when the Reds are getting a historical beating.

I realize the picture above is basically Philadelphia getting beaten up by Mr. T. That is foreshadowing for today and tomorrow. Rock's going to be all bloodied-up.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Reds Determine It's Too Early to Make Push Towards Top of Division, Cards 10-1

Dusty has the troops lying back, one game under .500, like a team full of snakes lying in the tall grass. He wants to lull the rest of the division to sleep, so when they make their inevitable late season push towards the playoffs, teams won't be expecting it. A key element of this strategy was implemented yesterday. Rather than recall games one, where Bailey was dominant and a rare late inning implosion kept the Reds from victory, and two, where Owings demonstrated that he's not only a quality bat but can throw a little bit too, the Cardinals will recall the beating they laid on Arroyo yesterday. It's too bad that Arroyo had to take another one for the team but he's a team guy. He knows and understands the importance of following, unquestionably, the lead of skip. Yesterday will prove to be an important day over the course of the long season.

Since the Reds Rocket was shut down Friday, there was no write up about the finale with the Snakes. The Reds was quiet for the majority of the day making it look, to Diamondbacks supporters anyway, the Harang was on his way to another well-pitched loss. Sure, the Diamondbacks being generally terrible helped but the Reds showed a little bit of heart. Putting together a late rally off Snake "closer" Chad Qualls, then sending everyone home with a series victory in the 10th. Votto picked up four hits in an otherwise uneventful offensive showing. Nice job team.

Also over the weekend, we received word on the lone Reds All-Star representative, Coco Cordero. Coco really has had a nice season, especially when pitching with a lead. He has less interest when entering a tied game. His only blown save was the Nationals game where he was able to strong arm management into letting him return to the hill after a rain delay. Nice job Coco. Way to earn that closer's salary.