Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Cueto Pulls Up Lame, Put Out to Stud for Time Being, Cardinals 4-1

Cueto only last 2 innings last night before straining a hip flexor while taking his swings at the plate. This may not have happened if he would just push a bunt up the first base line every single at bat. Now he knows. At least now his handlers can focus on collecting his seed and implanting it into some of the more fertile female hanger-ons. Soon there will be a whole army of undersized hard-throwing offspring under lifelong contracts with the Reds. Just wait 20 years, the Reds will be back on top.

So, of the once-promising pitching staff, the Dominicans are both injured, Harang and Arroyo carry and combined 4.75 ERA. Fortunately, the team has Homer Bailey and Micah Owings. Those guys are life savers. And of course Justin Lehr, back on the hill tonight for his second complete game shut out of his career. Everything should be fine for the rest of the year.

Reds managed only 1 run against Lohse and the Cardinals bullpen. Votto seems to be settling into the 4th spot in the order. He picked up a couple of hits and reached on an error. Slump time may be finally over. Rolen missed another game due to a large comical bump that grew out of his head when he was hit by Marquis' pitch. It's slowly going down. It's not like the Flinstones when you can just pound the bump down with a mallet. You need expensive surgical tools, like that hammer they use to check the reflexes in your knee. Reds doctors, unfortunately, don't have that sort of technology available to them. They have a whole room full of leeches and boring tools to let the evil spirits out of the players' brains. Dusty endorses all medical techniques utilized by the training staff.

Now, as incorrectly stated yesterday, today is Lehr's turn on the hill. I was a little overzealous. He faces a guy by the name of Mitch Boggs. Sounds like the name of someone who likes to give up a lot of hits to struggling offenses.

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