Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Coco Looks Like A Big Fat All-Star

As with the last seven years, since Mr. Selig decided that the All-Star game should be worth more than just a fun time, the Reds are going to have to go on the road to win the World Title. The NL All-Star failed to win, as was programmed to be repeated by McCarverbot on the seventh pitch of each inning, for the 13th year in a row. There was that tie, which is of note. Of note for being the worst All-Star game since 1969 when hippies were given free tickets and Hells Angels provided security. I think one of the Angels knocked out second baseman Marty Balin prior to the game. Just for being a douche. It was totally uncool.

Lincecum looked like a nervous derelict, rather than a hipster who has chosen not to conform to your rules encouraging gainful employment, yet remaining confident in his book of beat poetry. He gave up a couple but the NL's fired back taking a 3-2 lead. The AL scored two more and the NL didn't bother getting anyone on base until the 8th when Howard managed only a half swing with some runners on the bags.

But who cares about any of that, other than the outcome. Coco, the lone Reds rep, looked real good. Showing the American League what they've been missing. He didn't feel like throwing too many pitches, so made quick work of things. That's someone I'd like to hire to sign autographs at my next Flag Day party. Those who are also interested, feel free to visit the site from which I've stolen the post picture.

The Reds Rocket has been on vacation, so please forgive the lack of comment on the Reds series. We're in the process of hiring an intern for $0. The request, to date, has been met with great interest. They will provide content regarding the Reds' excellent play when Timmons and Tiffee are too busy or hungry to write a solid entry. As a brief recap, Reds played a depleted Mets team, Arroyo dominated game one, then the next two games resulted in moral victories which Dusty will use to build a solid second half of the season. They did not result in victories, in the traditional win/loss definition.

The nerds at Baseball Prospectus have officially fallen into the category of 'potential victim(s)' with their prediction that the Reds have the 10th worst chance of making the playoffs at 4.5%. Watch it boys. Ray Jay has a lot of time and a lot of anger. Don't let the one good hand mislead you. He's poison in the bottle.

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