6. Which member of the front office can I trust not to eat the last of my microwave chimichangas?

Director of Player Development Terry Reynolds: just because you’re one of the few holdovers from the O’Brien regime, doesn’t mean you can eat all my food. Because seriously Terry, I know I got them at Costco but they’re not cheap and you haven’t really bought groceries in like two months. If you could do me a favor and just leave me that last one, I work late tonight and I don’t want to have to stop on the way home.


President and Chief Executive Officer Robert Castellini: if I could pick my ideal CEO, the one I really wanted, the first I'd look for was whether they had access to wholesale fruits and vegetables. Not just apples and bananas, but more exotic fare. Now if I could just meet someone like that. What? This is the same Castellini from Castellini Co., the distributor of the largest and most comprehensive inventory of fruits and vegetables in the Midwest? It’s like a dream come true. The author imagines that CEO Castellini's pockets are permanently full of carrots, broccoli, and summer squash, so that last chimichanga is probably safe. Additionally, he seems to genuinely love Reds baseball and facilitate winning, though I hope he’s not providing food at the games.

GM and Executive Vice President Wayne Krivsky: Krivsky you diabolical. I know you and don’t want you anywhere near that last chimichanga. I am impervious to your GM speak. I know this chimichanga, the one with a potentially huge offensive upside, is of more value than that apple that just got a cortisone shot due to shoulder discomfort. Really? I really don’t see how I could possible be better off in the long run, I’ll just be hungry again in an hour. Well, I’ll have to consider it.

Is that apple still available?

Vice President and Assistant General Manager Bob Miller: After seven seasons in Arizona, Miller fell victim to something few men can resist, the sweet siren song of Wayne Krivsky. During his time in the desert, Miller oversaw the organization’s minor league player development operations and now the Diamondbacks are stocked with a seemingly endless supply of young talent. While Reds fans are optimistic he can do the same for the Reds, this author is less so in regards to eating that chimichanga. I’m watching you Miller.

Senior Director of Scouting Chris Buckley: Buckley was hired last February after working previously in the Blue Jays organization. The article discussing the hiring noted that Buckley presided over the scouting department when Gabe Gross, Russ Adams, and Aaron Hill were selected in the first round of consecutive drafts ('01-'03). Everyone knows that those players are all very, very good. Household names, if you will. Should he be able to provide similar results in Cincinnati, that chimichanga is his.