As second basemen go, Alfonso Soriano is the only other to accomplish the feat and just to be an asshole, he's done it three times [once more as an outfielder]. But don't let that diminish the impact of Phillips' accomplishment. Stealing bases is a real pain in the ass. It gets the uniform dirty and that just takes away from the appeal of his patented Kool-Aid brand smile. With the bomb tonight, he joins a list which includes such subtastic talents as: Dante Bichette, Preston Wilson, Jose Cruz Jr., and as Reds Rocket number one super guy Last Unitard pointed out, Ron Gant [just check out the size of my biceps]. There are even a couple of other Reds on the list, Barry Larkin and Eric Davis but neither of them did the codeine lean during their homerun trot, lessening their appeal.
In a season of such profound disappointment, it's nice to see that at least one member of the Reds is still trying, trying fill up the stat sheet to reach personal goals, but trying none the less. Brandon Phillips, you're all right. If Tom Shearn is going to pitch like he did tonight, he might as well not even get up out of the trunk of his Ford Tempo, where he lives. The console doubles as the restroom.