Sunday, September 23, 2007

Reds Lose to a Bunch of Sack Specialists, Giants 5-4

The author was watching another sport today and Jim Nantz, you know your favorite announcer next to Phil Simms, of course, among other simply idiotic comments/attempts at sounding less like a robot, referred to a member of the Chargers as a "San Diego Sack Specialist." I am not a moron and understand football and the term "sack", but I'm pretty sure that term would be offensive to just about everyone from San Diego. Just try asking politely, "pardon sir, since you are from San Diego, are you by any chance a sack specialist?" I understand that this opening is not in any way related to Reds baseball, but we're running low on material around here. A series loss to the Giants? Any reason to pay attention from now on? Yes, many. Let's start with the featured photo:

Because we're running low on season, I decided it was time to reprise the Big Frucking Nasty spring training photo. He did throw a scoreless inning,which is cause for at least a minor celebration. Maybe a Busch Light and a half container of candy beans. Baseball games no longer contain "This is Our Country," or that iPod commercial with the woman singing, I think the song goes something like "my voice drives nails in your brain." The author can't be alone in thinking that when medicine has progressed to the point of saving John Mellencamp from a massive coronary, we've crossed the line to playing god. Also, that Norris Hopper, Jeff Keppinger, Jorge Cantu top of the order [especially when Coats substituted for Dunn] will go down as possibly the most fantastic top of the order in the history of major league baseball. As we Reds fans know, they are not only excellent ball players but fine men and excellent citizens. Finally, the author is really looking forward to crushing some Chicago soul next week. But that's still a while off.

For today, the lack of comment is in response to Harang's performance. Beat the goddamned Giants and pick up number 17. Pedro Feliz is, how you say, a piece of trash. Last day off tomorrow, enjoy it team. Maybe you can talk to Griffey about his reptured testical. I know that's what I would be doing. "Did it feel more like someone zotted you with a cattle prod or conked you with a ball peen hammer?"


Anonymous said...

A bashing of both Mr Nance and Mellencamp.....Shame on you young man!

Anonymous said...

I think anyone who likes either Mellencamp or Jim Nance is a faggot

The Last Unitard said...

Is this John Mellencamp or John Cougar Mellencamp we're talking about? There's a difference.

Anonymous said...

the one that likes farms