Welcome Newcomers, Today Will Serve as Your Tour of the Cincinnati Reds, Mets 11-7

Today we saw the first big league at bat of the man presumed to be the Reds' first baseman of the future, the Raging Canadian, Joey Votto [complete with picture of Homer Bailey on his player profile on the Reds' site]. With the expanded roster size we also saw the less anticipated arrival of Buck Coats, who does truly have a great name, as well as noted assholes Big Frucking Nasty, McBeth [from the other day], Brad Salmon, Kirk Saarloos and then finally some guy named Hanigan. Hanigan is rumored to be holding down Ryan Jorgensen's roster position while he's away for personal reasons, so that may answer some questions regarding the level of talent. But it may not, the author is keeping an open mind. The author is glad to see you recalled relievers can dominate [i.e. get outs once in a while] AAA and still be immune from recording major league outs. Nice game tonight Nasty, a walk, three hits and of course a home run, the second of the night, given up to Paul LoDuca. It's a good thing your handsome face packs the stands behind the bullpen or you might just get the rest of the year off.

This is what the future looks like for many of you. Seven runs scored but the team still loses by four. Of course Olivia Perez gets the win, because his stuff is just dominating. And then Paul LoDuca, that's right the same number eight hitting catcher who has shown no power all season, hits two home runs and drives in seven. After the two this evening, his season total is up to seven, so maybe that's not so bad after all. The author figured those were his first two of the year, but after looking it up turns out that they were only his first hit since June 30th. And that's just two months ago, so there's really nothing to feel bad about. And the seven RBIs? Well, he did have a total of 10 for the months of July and August combined, so maybe the author should give him a little credit as a solid run producer. The offense wasn't half bad tonight. Phillips had a nice day at the plate, getting his average back up to .290, and Hopper got a couple of knocks. Though the performance of Jorge Cantu, for those of you currently staying tuned for the nightly "Cantu Watch" segment, was a bit of a disappointment. If you want to attain more than a cult status, which I personally think you are more than capable, you'll have to avoid the soul crushing double play balls.

Reds get John Maine tomorrow, who they beat up in New York. No reason to take it easy on him tomorrow. Tom Shearn is on the hill, so looks like those bullpen worries can be forgotten. He hit the trailer early, got some solid sack time for the big day tomorrow. For those of you wondering what a guy named Buck Coats looks like, the author was surprised he wasn't winking at the camera in his stock photo, here you go.