Monday, April 6, 2009

Harang Will Humble Mets Next Time

The Reds opened the season with everyone's favorite sufferer of gigantism hitting the hill. Papa Harang held the Mets in a stanglehold for five innings before retiring to the clubhouse to eat three pizzas and two of Mr. Mets' children. They were illegitimate, so weren't really people, no one was too concerned. But, the offense was nervous and unable to perform and he took home the first loss of the season. He'll keep it on his mantle so he can remember the feeling and make sure this doesn't happen again.

The offense, predictably, without new leadoff extraordaire, Wilmy Taveras heading the lineup, struggled to get much going against Senor Santana. Don't worry, he'll be back soon, bunting four times a game and playing a strong center field. In his absence we'll get to see what new pal Darnell McDonald has to offer. My guess is quite a lot. He may have taken a couple of bad routes on balls hit his direction and committed the team's first error of the season, but we here at the Reds Rocket are expecting big things from the kid. You don't get to be a 30-year-old journeyman without having a high level of ability.

As pointed out by one of the many astute readers of this weblog, yesterday, we also saw the departure of Jonny Gomes. There's a chance he'll clear waivers and accept the demotion to Louisville but I wouldn't count on it. What I will count on is that American Championship ring of his being on ebay in a couple of years. So, looks like we'll get to enjoy the presence of Lance Nix. The true scouting report on him is that he is not below average at all aspects of the game but a fine gentleman who knows how to treat a lady right. And, in the end, that's all that really matters.

The Baseball Tonight highlights consisted of Bruce baiting Wright into rounding third before nailing him at the plate followed immediately by highlights of Ray Jay taking three straight fastballs from Santana, all very near to down the middle of the plate. *Correction, Votto. They're still Assholes. He put a nice swing on that double off the wall, so we're still expecting a big season from the right fielder. And Ramon Hernandez had a nice debut, showing that all those projections of a poor defensive catcher and eroding offensive skills were misplaced. He is actually left-handed and has one of the more unique Palsies, which hopefully explains the throws to second. Ryan Church can have that stolen base if he wants it that bad. Ramon has bigger things on his mind. He's anticipating running for City Counsel. He has you, the people of Cincinnati, in his mind and, in his heart.

So, even with the loss, we remain optimistic for the season. And George Grande, great to here that velvet voice of yours again trailing off and not making any sense. As a side note, both Dunn and Griffey went yard today. Traitors. Day off tomorrow. Volquez Wednesday. Nice to see everyone again.


Father Schnippel said...

I thought it was Votto who took three straight down the middle heaters? said...

Yeah that was definitely Votto. I think we need to also mention that Herrera pitched the 6th due to Harang's excessive pitch count (the result of some shoddy defense and cheap hitting) and the little guy walked Santana and the leadoff hitter Reyes consecutively to load the bases, which allowed a run to score on a groundball to first that Votto failed to field cleanly. Had Votto speared the ball it is possible he could have stepped on the bag and fired to home for a much needed double play in that situation.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day and its too early to become bitter just yet.

Anonymous said...

How can you call someone like Griffey a traitor if they were traded? You can say anything you want about illegitimate children, but not Griffey. He's one of the best baseball players of all time.

Tim Timmons said...

anonymous, griffey is the most traitorous traitor i know. this site does not support ex-reds, only current reds and paul bako.