Votto Pops Mets in the Mouth, God Damn, Reds 7-0

A convincing victory like today's deserves not just any picture, but a picture of an inflatable chair in the shape of the baseball glove. You can actually purchase that chair online, for $129.99, so everything typed from this point on is for my benefit alone. I can't compete with a Cincinnati Reds pool chair. Additionally, according to the site, "round storage compartments on each side work great as cup holders and depositories for snacks, radios, or suntan." The author knows the importance of a good snack depository.

It was the Joey Votto and Tom Shearn show which put an end to the five game skid, but really when isn't it the Tom Shearn show? Votto hit a bomb in his second big league at bat, then reached base the other three. Maybe Hatteberg would be interested in pitching out of the bullpen, since the organization has been pretty clear that Votto is going to get an extended look as the left-handed first baseman. You simply cannot reduce Jorge Cantu's time on the field. Hatteberg is appealing as a relief pitcher because he is anyone other than Eddie Guardado. Shearn picked up his second major league victory against the Mets' JV squad. No Reyes, Delgado, or the very dangerous Paul LoDuca today, but there were still some tough outs in the Met lineup. Mike DiFelice will hammer mistakes all day long. Phillips went yard to start the scoring and Eddie added three hits with two ribs. A nice way to send the Mets away, get the hell out of here ya' gagooches! Day off tomorrow while the players clean out their snack depositories. Look the miniature box score is back. Squint at that impressive Reds line. Reds! Reds! Reds!