Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mets Take 2 of 3, Decapitate and Eat Mascot

As much as the author enjoyed the dominating performance by Arroyo during the second game on Saturday, that is the amount of anger I was forced to supress after the defeat at the hands of Oliver Perez today. The offense sure knows how to infuriate the fan base by looking horrible against remarkably untalented starters.

Who knows where that Bronson Arroyo came from. Hopefully he shows up next start but there's no telling. Dusty knows that when your starter's only throwing about 10 fastballs a game, you don't have to trouble yourself with keeping track of pitches. That's a good thing because if he was counting, Arroyo threw a lot of pitches and played an unscheduled rock show afterwards. Dusty has more important things to think about, like those suspicious charges on his Chase credit card. Was that the pornography he purchased? And do you need to aerate your lawn every spring, or just every other. A full, green lawn would certainly be the envy of the neighborhood. Hank Aaron maintains a very nice lawn.

Today's shitparade follows two games where the offense was at least palatable. Keppinger picked up 25 hits over the weekend against one of his old teams and Scott Hatteberg got a chance to play and did not disappoint. Usually the bus just picks him up at the nearest Indian casino on the way out of town. But Dunn's struggles continue and Griffey is slugging in the range of your average house cat. The Manatees swim into Cincinnati tomorrow and even though they've been winning, I'll be disappointed with less than a sweep. And the Reds only disappoint me about 65% of the time. I like those odds.

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