Today begins the Reds annual trip to New York to see the Mets. In addition to the three games with the Mets, it gives the team time to shop for skin tight jeans and vintage Japanese shoes, get tips from Keith Hernandez on the color of their hair and beard, and get beers poured on them while they’re in the outfield. The author recalls tonight’s starter, B-Liz, pitching a nice ball game against the Mets last season when there may have been little at stake for the Reds. I can’t recall too many other occasions which meet that criteria, so we’ll take that as a positive omen that he is going to dominate the Mets lineup tonight. Here are your Mets:1. Jose Reyes SS – bitten by a radioactive spider, now has radioactive diarrhea
2. Ryan Church RF – raises and sells pet skunks, de-stinks them himself
3. David Wright 3B – players with less than 2 years major league experience are prohibited from staring at his sandals
4. Carlos Beltran CF – a cardboard cutout of Adam Wainwright keeps him out of your corn field
5. Moises Alou LF – eats green M&M’s every time he needs to come down with moderate knee pain
6. Carlos Delgado 1B – lost a chess match to collie, the dog was of average intelligence
7. Brian Schneider C – trying an experimental drug which will prevent hair loss on his head and hair growth on his forehead
8. Luis Castillo 2B – trying sunflower seed suppositories this season
9. Mike Pelfrey P – was not invited to Mr. Mets’ postgame “get-together”
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