Monday, June 30, 2008
I Like This Team Better, Reds 4-3
Griffey didn't start, so he wouldn't have to embarrass himself against Pat Maholm. That guy's dominant. But fortunately, Matt Capps is not dominant but eminently hittable and, after Ragweed ripped a two-bagger (Shit, that ball's smoked!), Griffey ended the game with a two-run bomb. D-A-R-Y-L was even given the opportunity to score his first major league run. He can be Dusty's pinch runner any time.
And nice to see the return of Aaron Harang, as opposed to the his twin brother or the hypnotized/witch doctor cursed version we'd seen for the last 6 starts. Three RBIs by Tony DeLoage is disappointing, but the 7 IP with only 3 runs looks more like the line to which we've grown accustomed. Reds! Reds! Reds!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Hory Kow, Reds Lose 7-1
One positive from actually being busy, is that I have been unable to dedicate the usual amount of time to watching the Reds play. I did notice a win on Wednesday, after Harang gave back a 5-0 lead and then Volquez turned charlatan last night and got knocked around the Blue Jays, who prominently feature Marco Scutaro in the lineup. He was the last consistently reliable member of the pitching staff.
The move will be completed some time early next week, then things will be back to normal. By then I suspect the Reds will be back on one of their 6-game winning streaks, with the stop in Cleveland impending.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Arroyo Good, Not Great, in Loss to Blue Jays
The Reds first trip out of the country wasn't perfect. There were some good points, like Dunn getting a hit (.221!) and Paul Janish grounding into a second-inning double play to end the only real scoring threat of the game. Nice job gang, looks like those Jays really like playing for Cito Gaston. I can't tell you how much more productive I'd be if I had someone named Cito managing my life or "career".
After the game, Arroyo stated that the one plus innings with 11 hits and 10 runs, may have been the worst outing of his career. He's unsure. He'll have to think about it, then he'll get back to you. I thought they'd launched the remains of Scott Rolen into outer space as part of the opening day ceremony? And here he is hitting bombs with men on base. How about that? The fans seemed receptive to their countryman, Joey Votto. The other national celebrity, Gordon Lightfoot, made the trip from Moncton just to put on his oversized novelty hand. And if you haven't you need to hear Joey's version of the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. It will make you cry like a child or a bitch, choose your simile. Though this one will be tough to top, Big Ugly takes the hill tomorrow and he's got the blood lust. Tomorrow's the day to file your Canadian politeness away in the top drawer. Beware Toronto.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Billy Crystal Uses Comedic Powers to Summon Rains, Jankees 4-1
D.A.R.Y.L made a nice debut on Saturday, continually working out of trouble and holding the Yankee offense scoreless. The bullpen even kept up their end of the bargain, locking things down securing a shut out. And of course Volquez was lights out Friday, that's a win always.
Today we got to see the return of Jeff Keppinger but Eddie also took some time off after experiencing some spasm. That brought on old friend and, 2008 last guy on the bench, Javy Valentin to play third base for the first time in his big league career. Sadly, he didn't get the opportunity to make an errant throws to first. Maybe next week. The east coast swing heads up to Tononto next. Votto's going to teach the guys about Molson Light and why everyone in Canada wears denim. "That is what we call a Canadian Tuxedo which cost aboot 15 beaver pelts." Nice weekend gang, keep it up. Donkey's mad as hell and he's not going to take it any more.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Meet My Brother Daryl and My Other Brother Daryl
He's put up good numbers at both Chattanooga and Louisville, a combined 6-2 with a 2.22 ERA over 14 starts. Strikeouts are good (78K's in 89IP) and he's only walked 14. His new pal Edinson gave him some advice on dominating New York hitters, throw it down the middle to everyone besides Alex Rodriguez. And try and get matched up against Mussina (even if he has 10 wins, which is simply unbelievable) or some guy named Dan Giese (Hey Guy, what do I have to do to put you in this Buike LaSabre today?). Looks like things are in his favor as his matchup today is against Dan Giese. So, big things are expected. Welcome Daryl.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Reds Continue Vacation From Playing Well, Dodger 7-4
New start tomorrow against the American League. Griffey should be back in the lineup, as his tuberculosis only prevents him from playing defense. However, the next week or so is not one which I would be reaching into his bag of sunflower seeds. B. Phill has been swinging a little better bat after letting his average dip below .260 and Hopper at the top of the order seems to work a little better than Patterson, for whatever reason. At any rate, can't play much worse than this, so tomorrow will at least be a partial improvement.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Reds Misread Instructions on how to Operate Bats, Dodgers 6-1
Final game of the series tomorrow before heading to Toronto via New York. The Jankees are playing good ball and Toronto has both Jesse Barfield and Rance Mullinicks doing color up in the box. That has to be some sort of advantage. So, it would be nice if Big Ugly could get things headed in a positive direction tomorrow. The Dodgers were not playing baseball very well before their stop in Cincinnati, so maybe the Reds need teams that are playing well. Look out New York. Nice to see Encarnacion at least giving hitting a try out there and welcome back Norris Hopper. How's that throwing arm? Hopefully it feels well enough to chop balls to the infield and drag some bunts. The author isn't necessarily opposed to Votto at the top of the lineup but the speed, or lack thereof, may be troubling to Skip. I'll have to see him run a couple of windsprints or at least a shuttle run before I make any decisions.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Cueto Good but Billingsly Too Fat for Offense, Dodgers 3-1
Fortunately, I can save time writing recaps of the offensive performance by just cutting and pasting from just about every game this month. Team hit bad, many strikeouts, Corey Patterson garbage, Griffey unable to get the big hit. But they'll figure it out, Dusty's working overtime. He's been sleeping with his toothpick in and batting gloves on for the last week and a half. It's all going to be worth it, things are starting to move, the wheels are turning. They've got the next two, no problem. I'd hate to have the last name Kuroda, well, always, but especially tomorrow.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Bailey Requests Demotion, Red Sox 9-0
After Eddie's heroics on Saturday, Dusty provided me with a rare opportunity to agree with Thom Brennaman. What Mike Lincoln was doing in the game in the 10th, with and Papelbon and Okajima already spent, against the reigning world champions was a secret to be shared between Dusty and Richard "Call me Dick" Pole. And just to make us all feel validated, he gave up back to back bombs to Youkalis and Coco Crisp in the 10th. Just keep Cordero and the $45 million arm down there in the pen. Crisp's performance this weekend was impressive. He's a 30 home run 100 RBI guy, right? Not just a weak-hitting, strong defense (think Juan Castro) center fielder. So, we can't feel too bad about what he did to Reds pitching.
Bailey looked solid again today. No strikeouts, three bombs on only four hits allowed. Tough break kid, maybe you get some blood work see where your iron level is at. That velocity is troubling and this website is nothing if it isn't a strong evaluator of pitching talent. Fortnately, the team gets to deal with the Dodgers on Tuesday and there performance of late is best described as "shitty ass". Time to turn this home stand around.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Reds Play Better, Dusty Treats Team To Ice Cream Sundaes, Reds 6-2
He picked up the first hit of the ballgame, then put the second run on the board with his first bomb of the season. And he pitched a nice ballgame today before Affeldt and Encarnacion worked together to screw him out of a win, simultaneously depriving me of the pleasure of a Joel Pineiro loss. After 4 innings of the offense looking completely overmatched against, at best, a AA arm, I figure they owed it to me. But thanks to those two assholes, Mark Worrell, who I could give a shit one way or the other about, gets stuck with the loss and Pineiro skates away with a no-decision. It is nice to see Burton pick up a win as a reward for simply not being David Weathers.
Phillips put the game away with a triple in the 7th. He's trying to see how far he can walk down the first base line and still leg out three bags. He made it about half way tonight, admiring what he thought was a foul ball. Nice job out there B. Phill. Red Sox in tomorrow, not necessarily my choice as an interleague opponent but those three wins sure will feel good. Reds! Reds! Reds!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Reds Celebrate Pujols' Injury By Losing 10-0
But the offense rebounded and collected three hits the entire game off Braden Looper. He didn't even have to throw 100 pitches. He must have traded the second 'n' in his first name for some effectiveness. With the way these assholes are struggling with their wooden sticks, Joel Pinero probably strikes out 20 tomorrow. No really, that guy has a nice approach to the game. He'll run it out there, thumb it up there for two and a third and take a seat. At least he's getting a regular paycheck and now he can trim his goatee. Look for Corey Patterson in center tomorrow, he's the spark plug that ignites the Reds offense.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Weird Faces Are Not Enough to Scare Small Red Birds, Cards 7-2
Monday, June 9, 2008
600 Home Runs, Hooray! Ah....My Back, Lungs and Colon!
To commemorate the achievement, we here at the Reds Rocket have compiled a list of our favorite home runs hit by Ken Griffey Jr. Due to the length of time between 599 and 600, we were able to put quite a bit of time into the research. The list, of course, only includes those bombs anyone cares about, those hit between the years of 2000 and 2008. Please enjoy:
*Note: this joke was also available for the 2001, 20002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, or 2007 seasons. The author would have preferred 2007, had Casey not been pictured, so the season-ending testicular injury (torn coin purse) could have been mentioned.
- April 11, 2006: [pictured at the top] Glendon Rusch? Come on, eyes closed.
Paul Bako Is One Of the Greatest Power Hitters in Baseball History, Reds 9-4
Even with, an unheard of, three runs allowed by Volquez, he pitched well enough to beat the Fish to run his record to 9-2, (which is also the inverse of Harang's current record, though Big Ugly's still planning a reversal into a suplex). The offense jumped all over Mark "Why Am I On a Major League Roster" Hendrickson, chasing him him the third. Griffey hit a notable homer (discussed above) and Phillips also went yard. Then everyone took it easy and thought about the suit coat and brightly colored T-shirt they were going to wear after the game until the Marlins cut it to 6-4 and Bako said that's all Paul Bako is going to take and pushed the game out of reach. Cody Ross did get tossed in the 8th, so Cordero was able to relax and protect the 9-4 lead. Nice job Francisco, worth every penny. Reds! Reds! Reds!
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Harang Pitches Like An Average-Sized Man, Fish 9-2
Harry Ang wasn't himself. He gave himself a one run lead with an RBI single in the 2nd but gave the Fish 8. He gave up two bombs to Hanley Ramirez, which isn't so bad until you recall that the first one came after he allowed a hit to Jacque Jones who was pinch outing (as opposed to hitting). Jacque Jones hadn't reached base this year in 112 at bats.
After the Friday night singles outpouring, the offense slowed today. Griffey started but the only center fielder who went deep for the Reds was Corey Patterson. Last game of the year with the Marlins tomorrow with Volquez on the hill. You can put a lock on a series split.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Homer Bailey Will Now Write Some Poetry To Express Himself, Phillies Take Series, Win Today 5-0
Homeboy wasn't bad, especially if you disfavor the strikeout, in his first big league start of the year. The first two runs scored when, twice, epileptics dropped the third out on a fly ball. Looks like a team trip to the opthamalogist is in order tomorrow in Florida. If I was to pick one state where the best cataracts doctors in the country would reside, Florida is my guess. Maybe Junior Griffey can go look at a condominium and get fitted with a monocle at the same time. Homer did give up a home run to Geoff Jenkins, which is not a good sign, but I, being the expert that I am, would assume he pitched well enough to get another chance in five days. Just strike out a couple guys next time.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Volquez Has Used One Word To Describe Himself Since He Got To Cincinnati, What Was It? Reds 2-0
Volquez and Brett Myers (powered on anger generated by his girlfriend's pre-game sass talk, You will not talk to me using that tone!) locked into a pitcher's duel. Myers didn't even allow a hit until the 7th when Votto drove in the Reds' first run on a double to left. He added another RBI double in the 9th and Bray and Cordero sent the Philadelphia fans home without even getting an opportunity to throw their celebratory batteries at the players. It's tradition.
Tomorrow, the Homer Bailey 2008 "Hey, I'm Coachable Now" Tour kicks off. He's been seeing a psychiatrist and a public relations expert and by all accounts, has made some good progress. Through subtle changes like addressing members of the media by their real names not "that cheese dick in the back" and replacing the phrase "fuck you Dick Pole" with "that is a valid suggestion which I will attempt to implement" he seeks to reestablish himself as a player who is both approachable and eager to learn the game of baseball. Never been much question regarding his stuff, which he shows to the Phillies and Pretty Boy Cole tomorrow. Reds! Reds! Reds!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Just Give the Boy Some Runs, Reds 5-4
Harang lost his MLB leading 8th game tonight, tough break for the big guy. He pitched well enough to win if you've got a reliable offense but also got bailed out by new pal Danny Herrera. It's rare that the bullpen doesn't punish you for leaving runners on the basepaths. Pat that Bat didn't know what to do with a 83 mph Screwy Louie. I don't suspect that many major league hitters will. Looks like he will be a nice addition to the bullpen. Now if someone on the offense would get some hits. Oh wait, Brett Myers tomorrow, no problem. Reds can still split the series, though the get-away day lineup awaits fans on Thursday. Ross finally gets that start in centerfield.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Phanatic's Giant Extendible Crank Just A Little Too Much For Reds, 5-4
Bruce went deep for the third day in a row and Big Donkey drove in two with a two-out, two-run double in the 6th. Encarnacion even took one out of the park but also managed to work in a couple of strikeouts to keep things predictable. Votto told reporters that he knows where Chase Utley likes to go after games and he was going to go there as well to teach him about making diving catches on rockets hit up the middle. Come on Utley, twice in one game? You hadn't made that play twice in one year before 2008. If you're going to continue killing the ball, let's at least go back to being a defensive liability.
Harang and his four deadly weapons (2 hands and 2 fists) fire things up tomorrow. He's ready to make amends for his last outing. The Philly offense has already made alternate plans.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I'll Trade You My Crackhead for Your Guy with the Brain Disease - Hamilton/Volquez Trade First Trimester Review
Hamilton's numbers for his early Rangers career have been pretty remarkable. But it's important to keep in mind that he does have Milton Bradley providing protection for him in the batting order. Bradley has personally threatened each starter in the AL with the removal of one testicle for each at bat where Hamilton doesn't see something straight, middle-in. So far it's been effective. Hamilton currently ranks third in the AL in batting average and first in slugging, home runs, and RBIs. He also ranks number one in announcer references to the movie the Natural.
But as it turns out, recovering drug addict or not, Volquez is a pretty solid guy. He won the fifth starter position with a great spring has been very disrespectful to opposing batsmen. Presently, he ranks 1st in the National League in ERA, 1st in strikeouts, 2nd in wins, 2nd in H/9 IP (6.22), 2nd in BAA (.197). The full line is listed below:
All that and he's only making $392,500 and won't be a free agent until 2013, which is a definite positive for the Reds management who don't like to pay baseball players very much money, if they can avoid it. His makeup and repertoire have drawn comparison to Pedro Martinez, hence the weave Photoshopped into the picture above. He looks forward to the opportunity to throw Don Zimmer to the ground. Either way, he's been the pitching version of Hamilton to open the season without the, you know, publicity. If he keeps going six innings and not giving up any runs, Edinson is no longer going to be the eighth most popular name in the Dominican Republic.
Not to be lost in the transaction, is left-handed reliever Danny Herrera. In addition to dominating AAA hitters with a fastball topping out in the mid-80s, prior to completing the trade, Herrera agreed in principle to act as Cincinnati's new human interest story. He can meet the requirements of the deal in three ways: 1) to become addicted to and successfully overcome an addiction to speed; 2) to contract and successfully overcome some variety of newsworthy cancer (rectal, for example, doesn't count as opinion polls state that 75% of the population would prefer not to say the word 'rectum'); or 3) open a veterinary clinic caring for otherwise unadoptible animals (blind cats, dogs with one leg, alligators with diabetes, etc.).
Reds Go All Andrew Jackson On the Braves, 6-2
Johnny C. looked quite nice out there on the hill. He didn't even bother complying with his affirmative action obligation to give the Braves a couple of hits until the 5th. Just call him Old Hickory. And aside from the back-to-back bombs by Teixiera and McCann in the 7th, which briefly made it a one run game, he managed to keep Reds viewers relaxed and stress free. That's all I'm looking for around here, looking to take 'er easy on a Sunday afternoon.
Medium-sized Donkey, Jay Bruce, went 2 for 3 with another homer. He drove in two and is now 13 for 22 (.591) with a .690 OBP and is slugging exactly 1.000 over the first 6 games of his major league career. Those are Kevin Maas and Shane Spencer type numbers. Griffey, seeking to not to have the number of signs with his name on them be eclipsed by those which are Bruce-related, also went 2 for 3 but with a double instead of a ding dong. Not that he would count the number of signs, or their subject matter. We're all on the same team here.
The team heads to Philadelphia tomorrow, they are planning to see the Liberty Bell and also where the award winning picture National Treasure was filmed. Dusty is a big fan of Justin Bartha. And they have a very special guest with them, Gary Majewski. He's back with the team after receiving shock treatment, acupuncture, hypnosis, and regular full service massages. The team is confident that he's got things under control and is ready to contribute in a positive manner. The author looks forward to 3/4 of a season of lights out relief from the Polish Nightmare. Nightmares for the opposition, that is. Reds! Reds! Reds!