The author would like to present another contribution from guest writer Petey Hendrix. He was nice enough to write what you see below, on his own time and email it to me free of charge. His only request was that the Reds Rocket find a homoerotic photo of the Reds manager-extraordinare, Dusty Baker. Check, Petey.
The Chicago Cubs now have a roster that reads a hell of a lot like the credits of a gay porno: Rich Harden, Kerry Wood, Reed Johnson, Chad Fox, Kevin Hart and Felix Pie (pronounced FEE-LICKS PIE). They must have to really concentrate on visualizing Loni Anderson circa 1978 so as not to let their bats go soft.
Many folks have worried in the blogosphere that if the Reds trade Griffey or Dunn this week, they won't have a serviceable outfielder besides Corey 'Can't Play in Porkopolis' Patterson. I would like to remind folks that if we make a trade, any team would be happy to send along whatever AAA or 'AAAA' outfielder(s) they have spare to give us a few serviceable months service.
The Reds are 11.5 games out, and *(edited to reflect current shittiness) just got swept at home by a team that, after the sweep, is 10 games under .500. It hurts, but this season is officially over. Let's jump on the trade market in a big way immediately. Anyone who is not under contract for next year needs to be re-signed or jettisoned. Here's whom I'd trade for whatever we could get: David Weathers, Jeremy Affeldt, Matt Belisle (I'm giving up on him, as his ceiling is as a 3rd starter), Josh Fogg (a great sign-and-trade idea by Krivsky), Mike Lincoln, David Ross, Javier Valentin, Jerry Hairston, Adam Dunn and Ken Griffey Jr. Griffey is not likely going anywhere, but an offer to play in Wrigley Field for a first-place team for two months would be hard for him to turn down. I would also trade Bronson Arroyo for a decent prospect. I am not sold that he's a $10M pitcher, and that's the price tag for next year - assuming he doesn't honor all other competitors' coupons.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
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