Cueto's Been Drinking Green Tea All Day, He's Jacked Up, Reds 9-3

Cueto was too much for the feeble Cardinals offense last night. Sure, he didn't feel like going 7 for the first time in a long while, but he didn't need to. I'm pretty certain it was that quality bunt base hit that caused Lohse's arm to stiffen up, leading him to exit. That will be good today, as Carpenter is about due for a physical breakdown and the Cards will have to deal with the powerful Reds offense with a tired pen.

No one is making fun of the extra 'y' in Laynce Nix's first name now. He went deep twice last night and knocked in four. He, as this site was quick to predict, has been a nice addition to this offense. You might say, I remember the Reds Rocket terming Nix 'a nice guy who plays baseball like he has a mental deficiency,' but that was before the season started. Only suckers, or actual professionals, make predictions before the season starts. The Reds Rocket likes to see some action. So we don't look stupid (more stupid), see? Once Nix started hitting extra base hits, we were very strong supporters. And we will continue to be supporters for as long as he keeps raking. If and when he stops hitting, we will turn on him completely. So, keep it up Laynce, we're behind you as long as you're playing well, then completely against you.

Anyway, back to the game. Phillips hit a bomb, drove in three, and stole two bases. Bruce dropped his average down to .216 with an 0 for 4 night but everyone else in the lineup got a hit. Wilmy missed another game with a bad case of talentless-itis. Now you're up to date. Reds finish off the series today with Harang choking the life out of the small, red birds. Reds! Reds! Reds!