Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Bailey Continues Impressive Streak of Living Up To Expectations, Brewers 6-3

Today when I was watching the game, I thought to myself, or maybe spoke out loud, that hey it's the 5th inning and Bailey is: 1) still in the game; and 2) has only given up 4 runs. I was considering that progress then, using my fine mathematical skills, I figured that equates to a 7.20 ERA. That's where Reds Rocket expectations have devolved when it comes to starts by the number five arm. So, for the rest of the season, if he gives up fewer runs than innings or pitches more that 4 innings, that will be a quality start, assuming that he doesn't get sent down. And, of course, all my figures were moot because Homeboy handed Jason Kendall a two-run single and went to the locker room to take a shit and read the comics.

Yesterday, Volquez looked even more like his arm is about to fall off the next time he makes a batch of his delicious guacamole. The boy's tired, he can't even fix the bill of his hat. So, hopefully Dusty keeps running him out there and demanding 7 innings or 110 pitches. I'm confident that he will.

On a positive note, Wonderchild Jay Bruce had a nice day at the plate today after everyone got high in the locker room before the game yesterday, figuring that they would still be able to hammer Dave Bush. Turns out that you must be sober, not necessarily a very good baseball player, but at least sober. And the Reds learned that the hard way. The rest of the offense is taking it easy for a few days, trying to decide if getting hits is worth the time it takes to prepare prior to the game. 'Shit Skip, you're telling me I have to be at the ballpark by 3 in the afternoon for batting practice?' Encarnacion has been allowed a couple weeks off to pursue, his other dream, the management training program at TJ Maxx. He's still learning how to motivate foreign and/or unskilled/uneducated employees who earn a low salary. Once that's under control he can start concentrating on his bat again. A-holes next, that's a team the loves to suck.


Aaron said...

Jesus, if they keep losing I am almost afraid to keep checking in over here. The humor is becoming cutting edge sharp. If only the team was as good at playing baseball as you are at entertaining with this blog.

Petey Hendrix said...

Say what you will about TJ Maxx - that's a strenuous and thorough training program. Jack Armstrong washed out of it twice (hygiene requirement proved an insurmountable obstacle). And those TJ Maxx training uniforms are the latest in fun, casual workware. Ryan Freel likes to go to TJ Maxx in his off time to "just feel some fabrics" and "you know, try to get Farney some strange." Now that's my kinda store.

The Last Unitard said...

Hey how about that totally unheralded Pirates pitcher almost throwing a no hitter last night. That was some good stuff. Got a lot of good young arms in that organization.

My soul hurts.