Sunday, August 10, 2008

Reds Lose Again But Front Office Gains a Sharp-Looking Goatee

Harang made his triumphant return from his rehabilitation assignment in Russia, where he was moving giant logs through the snow. He looked a little unskilled at the pitcher position. He gave up 8 runs over 4, which included home runs allowed to both Geoff Blum and Michael Bourne (I'll gloss over the double allowed to Wandy). Michael Bourne is the Astros' 2006 Corey Patterson, without the high batting average. The author is confident we'll still see some choke holds by Big Ugly as the season winds down but that 3-12 record isn't what I was expecting coming into the season. But the Reds Rocket will focus on the home run by Ryan Hanigan in his first game of the season at the major league level. That's number one for the career, something which he will always remember: a 13-4 loss to a below average Houston team.

Also, Friday, we saw the arrival of noted evaluator of talent and all around super guy, Bill Bavasi. As I suspect the majority of you know, Bavasi was the GM for the Mariners for a few years. Before that he was in Anaheim, where his dad was able to get him a job. During his tenure with the Mariners he was able to establish, conclusively, that he does not understand the game of baseball. He knows the basics, like you hit a thrown ball with a stick, and probably some of the easier rules, certainly not the infield fly, but when it comes to what makes a person good or bad a the game, he's at a loss. He'll look them over, measure their skulls, challenge them to a race out in the parking lot and if they meet his strict standards, 4-year $35 million.

Certainly you wonder, as I did, what is he doing in Cincinnati? Did he seriously: 1) sign Scott Spezio to a 3-year $17 million deal (with a team option for 2007); 2) trade Carlos Guillen to the Tigers for Ramon Santiago and one of the many untalented Juan Gonzalezes; and 3) acquire both Ben Broussard and Eduardo Perez from the Indians in two separate trades during the same season (one for Asdrubal Cabrera the other for Shin-Soo Choo) and retain his job? Must have been due to decisions like the free agent signings of Richie Sexson, Jarrod Washburn and Carlos Silva to 4-year deals. Oh wait, those deals were financially crippling and idiotic. At least Silva hasn't been released yet, he's just publicly blasting the offense for not carrying his 7.00 ERA. Bavasi was able to get Miguel Olivo, Jeremy Reed and Mike Morse from the White Sox in the trade deadline deal for Freddy Garcia. But, I guess Garcia was arguably the top pitcher on the market at the time and the returns are all piles of shit. The complete list is fun. Take a look and tell me if you think a super-intelligent space monkey or just a regular monkey (let's say a Rhesus monkey) would be needed to generate better results. I believe Rhesus monkeys have prehensile tails, so they could possibly type on a typewriter with both hands while holding their cigarette in their tail, which would probably increase productivity. Both would wear suits and derby hats.

So, unless there is some hidden benefit to constantly mis-evaluating talent and putting together the most expensive loser in history, what did Bavasi do during his time with the Mariners that would give any team, much less the Reds, the impression that he had any idea what he was doing?

That's the January 4, 2005 signing of Pokey Reese (with a club option for 2006, mind you) So, Bill looks like you do know what you're doing - let's get evaluating and make this team a winner.

2 comments:

the last said...

Bavasi makes Brian Sabean look like Billy Beane.

Welcome aboard.

Petey Hendrix said...

Bavasi is a bonobo. See how his new stretching technique can help all primates:
http://mouemagazine.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/bonobo430.jpg