Sunday, August 10, 2008

Daggum Designated?

Bad news for those of you who like your catchers wearing overalls under their uniform or hound-dogging your wife while she's sitting near the bullpen - Daggum Ross done been designated. Colonel Dusty cited the need to get some youth, Ryan Hanigan, up with the club so that they could learn some advanced receiving techniques from Paul Bako. Bako, according to Dusty, is one of the finest receivers he's ever seen or penetrated. Just kidding Dusty, we know you're not a homosexual.

Before the trade deadline, there appeared to be some interest in Ross' services. The Marlins were mentioned, though that may have been it. The author is far too lazy to research the statements made. Wherever he goes, he'll be missed. The ribs in the base of every one's locker after a particularly tough loss, the NASCAR shot glasses which appear around holidays, that dead possum that used to live in the attic above the clubhouse. Next time you hear someone talkin' 'bout there Daddy or reminding you that the only good possum is a dead one, don't let 'em see you cry. That's why I only type in the privacy of my home, too many tears have been shed already this season. We'll be seeing you Ragweed, god speed. The Reds Rocket is retiring your uniform.

1 comment:

Petey Hendrix said...

Is it me, or did the team bus always seem a little shorter when Ross rode it? The guy's mug screams "special help after class." Welcome, Ryan Hanigan. Here's hoping you suck or succeed consistently, unlike Ross. At least that way we'll know whether or not to dump you at the end of the season, unlike Ross' enigmatic run with the Heroes of Porkopolis.