Friday, April 25, 2008

This Team Doesn’t Need Barry Bonds After All

In what is kind of a funny road trip, the Reds fly west to play a few late games with the Giants then back to St. Louis and finally on to Atlanta for three with the Braves. San Francisco marks another stop on the Dusty Baker Oldies Revival Tour, though the homosexuals here may not treat him with the same level of disrespect he encountered from the homosexuals at Wrigley. He did take the Giants to a World Series, albeit concluded with a trademark Dusty meltdown but at least people got to show up at the park and yell obscenities at the opposition. Barry Bonds has even admitted that the team’s success can be completely attributed to Baker.

If you have to start a road trip anywhere, the team which resides in San Francisco is a nice place to start. Though they did just take a couple from the Padres, the San Diego offense, may, I stress this, may be worse than the one currently taking the field for the Reds. So, that is a bit of a misnomer. We can all just cool out, cooo-ooo-ool out, the Giants are a very poor baseball team and will lose all three games when they face the Reds. I’ll bet that thing on the side of the screen which shows a map and a score on it. That particular item cost the Reds Rocket several clams. Here’s Redsbot 5000’s game day lineup and trivia:

1. Fred Lewis LF – the currency used for payment of his salary is wool socks

2. Ray Durham 2B – can’t use the bathroom without first taking off his shirt

3. Randy Wynn RF – was named to an All-Star game once. Seriously

4. Bengie Molina C – volunteered to take a pay cut based upon his expected 2008 performance

5. Aaron Rowand CF – built this city on rock and roll

6. John Bowker 1B – who?

7. Brian Bocock SS – this name sounds made up

8. Rich Aurilia 3B – spokesman for, it doesn’t pay as well as you’d think

9. Jonathan Sanchez P – likes the progressive nature of the city of San Francisco, it’s really more of a European city, like Paris or Venice

No comments: