Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Reds Play Gives Fans Tuberculosis, Cubs 9-5

The author was very displeased with the performances this evening. A loss by Harang and a win for Dempster is about the least attractive outcome I can envision. Throw in a home run by Mark DeRosa and now you've got a debilitating disease. Cover your mouth when you cough, it's contagious.

Griffey did hit a bomb, which is nice to see. It almost looks like he's trying out there. And Keppinger picked up a couple more knocks but another very quiet night for the offense. It's building up to something big, I can feel it. But in the interim all these losses to despicable opposition put a bit of a damper on the early season.

Josh Fogg, the stopper, hits the hill tomorrow. So, we can all relax knowing that even if the offense remains disinterested, they won't need more than a couple of runs. The experts predict Big Z murders Reed Johnson by the 5th. Odds are on strangulation followed by multiple stab wounds with a home made knife. I'm putting my money on "cause of death by gripping the ears and removing the head from the body with a swift, upward jerking motion."

3 comments:

The Last Unitard said...

is this what it means?
a Reds fan, repeatedly
to be crapped upon?

DevilsAdvocate said...

Nice haiku! I hear it's Poem In Your Pocket Day in NYC.

Captain Ron said...

I think this Reds cite might be getting to sophisticated for me.