Reds Play Gives Fans Tuberculosis, Cubs 9-5

The author was very displeased with the performances this evening. A loss by Harang and a win for Dempster is about the least attractive outcome I can envision. Throw in a home run by Mark DeRosa and now you've got a debilitating disease. Cover your mouth when you cough, it's contagious.

Griffey did hit a bomb, which is nice to see. It almost looks like he's trying out there. And Keppinger picked up a couple more knocks but another very quiet night for the offense. It's building up to something big, I can feel it. But in the interim all these losses to despicable opposition put a bit of a damper on the early season.

Josh Fogg, the stopper, hits the hill tomorrow. So, we can all relax knowing that even if the offense remains disinterested, they won't need more than a couple of runs. The experts predict Big Z murders Reed Johnson by the 5th. Odds are on strangulation followed by multiple stab wounds with a home made knife. I'm putting my money on "cause of death by gripping the ears and removing the head from the body with a swift, upward jerking motion."