Homer Bailey Makes Suicide a Less Attractive Option

After making everyone wait with their "we genuinely think Eric Milton and Kirk Saarloos are better options" attitude [Saarloos' last outing before his demotion was so bad I think it gave me cancer], the Reds have announced that top prospect and well, ray of hope, Homer Bailey will make his first start with the big club this Friday. After taking some time off to recover from an injury common to top prospects, strained groin, the former seventh overall pick [2004] has put together some pretty nice numbers this season as a Louisville Bat. His game log looks a little like this:

Granted those are AAA numbers, but that's where most of the Pirates' roster should be and the Reds have struggled against them all season. There is no doubt that his stuff is grade A filthy. High 90's heat, a big old Uncle Charlie, and a plus change, there's a reason scouts like him so much. It's basically him and Phil Hughes competing for who has the most potential. Rumor has it that tickets sold for Friday at Great American have already eclipsed the standard one third of capacity, and that's not just to watch Cliff Lee be brutal, though the author does enjoy that as well.

So, in closing, Homer, the author has waited patiently for former Reds first rounders C.J. Nitkowski [1994], Ty Howington [1999], Jeremy Sowers [2001; chose to grow his combover at Vanderbilt rather than sign with the Reds], Chris Gruler [2002], and Ryan Wagner [2003] to develop and contribute. If you add them all together, you get one giant pile of puke. Congratulations are probably in order for you just getting to this point. But if you could do us all a favor on Friday and administer a savage beating to the Indians, we'd all appreciate it. Go Reds.