This is One Time Where Television Really Fails to Capture the True Excitement of a Large Squirrel Predicting the Weather

The author realizes that this welcome, like many others on this website, is late. The author may have a tough exterior but, let me assure you, also lives a rich inner life. That can be very time consuming. On Thursday, with the 15th pick in the amateur draft, the Reds selected this kid out of Punxsutawney High School:

His name's Devin Mesoraco and he looks suspiciously like a teammate of the author's from high school who used to get into my bag and eat my sunflower seeds while I was getting hammered on the mound. Asshole. I see you over there, get out of my bag! That aside, he's supposed to be a power-hitting catcher, who, according to the official Reds website, is also a fan of Johnny Bench. Hits for power, likes one of the best catchers of all time, and is from Punxsutawney? Sounds like a steal to me. We'll have to ask him if he's ever been to Intercourse, PA. So, remember you must sign with the Reds or you will have a Jeremy Sowers-type curse placed upon you. Nobody wants that. Additionally, after agreeing to lucrative contract you will likely start the season in Billings, Montana. Never been there? Gorgeous country. Welcome to the organization.