Friday, June 1, 2007

Reds v. Mountains

After the disappointing outcome in last night's contest [an extended discussion of B. Arroyo is upcoming], the Reds head to Colorado for a battle royale with one of nature's biggest assholes, the mountain. Tall and often covered with snow and goats, the mountain is not something to be taken lightly. Narron knows this. And though the team is still very confident after tallying a season tying best three game winning streak, Narron has assured the author they are careful not to be overconfident.

Bobby "Nutsack" Livingston makes his second start of the season, his first one wasn't the author's favorite start of the year, but he did leave the team in a position to win before leaving the game in the hands of the bullpen charlatans. He's going up against Taylor Buchholz, who the author knows very little about. He looks like a Nazi sympathizer, so that's something to root against, even though he may not necessarily be one. After that it will be Lohse vs. Jeff Francis on Saturday and B-Liz vs. Rodrigo Lopez for the Sunday matinee. Rodrigo is a pretty cool name but the author doubts he has a very pleasant personality. And the author still remembers last season's bobble-head featuring Jeff Francis. The figurine depicted him poisoning the Nevada water supply. "If you're not from Denver, you deserve to die," the plaquard read. So, remember that when you're watching these three games, the Rockies are the most despicable of the despicable. Reds, please give them the beating they deserve. Go team.

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