Monday, June 11, 2007

Reds Get Well-Deserved 1 Day Vacation

With the drag of the Major League season, these off-days are at a premium. Today's hole in the schedule gives the players an opportunity to catch up on squirrels playing poker. The author thinks the one with the big, fluffy tail is bluffing.

The author has always been curious what the players do on these days off. Do they go home and see the family, hang around the ballpark in their underwear, or just sit in their car and drink until they can't see? Well, with the recent publicity this site has received, the author has gained some unique insight into the recreational activities of your favorite Reds players.

1. Gary Majewski - uses the down time to devise creative ways to blow late inning leads. Next week he's considering working balks and maybe fan interference into the routine. Fans can't get enough of it.

2. Jared Burton - though he's not particularly busy during the week anyway, he still likes an off day now and then. The break in the schedule gives him the opportunity to whip up a few dozen of his world famous tacos. He deposits two of the famous hardshells into the mailbox of each person on his block. They are maybe the best tacos the author has ever had. Needless to say, he is a very popular person at neighborhood get-togethers.

3. Adam Dunn - likes to use his free time to play Tom Clancy's military tactical video game Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter. He plays on-line, codename: Ice Cream Pants.

4. Javier Valentin - the break serves as an opportunity for him to catch up on a week's worth of the HGTV original series, House Hunters. On the program, people are filmed as they consider purchasing homes. It's not only entertaining but educational. Real estate speculation has long been a hobby of Javier's

5. Edwin Encarnacion - collects pictures of ornate cakes found in magazines. The day off gives him time to organize them by style, type, and date into a personalized scrapbook. It's his true passion.

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