Saturday, June 2, 2007

Rockies Use Witchcraft to Beat Reds, 4-1

How else can you explain three Griffey strikeouts and just the one run scored against the Rockies pitching staff? The Rockies appeased their dark lord with a pregame sacrifice of a live goat. Todd Helton drank the blood. Kyle Lohse, who didn't pitch badly, did end up with his seventh loss of the season. Fortunately for Kyle, the Cardinals appear to have some sort of performance bonus for their starters depending on the number of losses they are able to compile. Kip Wells already has 10 and Anthony Reyes has 8. So, he doesn't have to worry about comparisons to Anthony Young or Mike Maroth just yet. Lots of time to turn it around, the author believes in you and your diabolical goatee.

Tomorrow the teams start a little earlier in the day, B-Liz up against Rodrigo Lopez. B-Liz isn't usually out of bed by 3:05 PM Eastern Time. His pregame freshwater sturgeon will have to be prepared and on the table in the AM so he can make it to the ballpark in time to dominate. The author is confident that you can already put the number 23 in the win column. It's a lock. So, tune in if you like, the author will either be at the lake working on his beautiful bronze skin tone or in his parents' basement yelling at the television screen. It's a tough decision. Yeah Reds.

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