Reds Less Spectacular, Mariners 9-1

The author was, we'll say a little disappointed with the performance of the team last night. Lohse gave up an 0-2 grand slam [or funk slam as the scoreboard at Safeco read] to Raul Ibanez in the first, then sprinkled in some runs every now and then over the rest of his outing. Pretty solid. Richie Sexson, utilizing the power of his country singing zombie bride, hit two bombs and ex-Reds farmhand Ben Broussard hit one out just to be a dick. Sexson has that average up to a solid .208, so that's nothing of which to be ashamed. He'll just flat out kill you. Today, the Reds feature the rejuvinated Bronson Arroyo on the mound. We'll have to see if his vacation has made him more interested in hitting 90 mph on the radar gun. The author predicts he'll have the Seattle players making him a sandwich. The Reds are just dealing with a bunch of lousy sailers here, let's go ahead and take the series.