Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The author feels very sorry that all players who made the opening day roster were not included in the pre-season player preview. To remedy the oversight of the research department, special previews have been prepared for those players omitted. Those who have been anxiously awaiting Coutlangus and Santos content, your day has arrived.

Jon Coutlangus
The converted outfielder was claimed off waivers from the Giants in February of last year. He’s from Florida and was drafted out of South Carolina as the 981st best player available in 2001. Last season he spent the majority of his time in Chattanooga (had 2 appearances at Louisville) and compiled some real nice numbers out of the pen (2.74 era, 42 hits allowed in 65.2 IP, 56 Ks and 9 saves). In an effort to make his transition from minor to major league player as comfortable as possible, the author would like to recommend the use of the nickname “Cooter”. Although there’s really not much of a resemblance between Coutlangus and Ben Jones, the actor who portrayed Cooter (and who, coincidentally, is listed as a friend of Marty Brennaman) on the Dukes of Hazzard, I feel that after a few innings of effective relief he could take on a Cooter-like role with the Reds. He would show up every once in a while and help the team get out of whatever crazy situation it finds itself in, maybe retiring a particularly tough lefty with men on base or super-charging Dunn’s Chevelle so that he could deliver the mail to Muskingum County before sunset. Cooter, let me extend a warm welcome to the Cincinnati Reds major league roster.

Victor Santos
In the past, the author has taken a cautious approach to supporting players acquired from Pittsburgh. The fact that they are typically subtastic baseball players is but one of a number of reasons for this hesitance. But with Santos, the author is throwing all caution out the window. 15.2 innings of scoreless spring training relief? Only eight hits allowed? Two saves to go along with 2 wins? There is no way that this guy will not be fantastic for every outing this entire year. The fact that he’s had some less memorable seasons in the past is no longer relevant (in 2002, he threw in 24 games and still managed to carry an era over 10.00 (10.38)). Since coming to Cincinnati as a non-roster invitee he has been given a steady diet of the old Dick Pole, the transformative powers of which cannot be underestimated. Victor Santos, I apologize for not believing in you, welcome to the team.

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