Sunday, April 8, 2007

Reds Choose Salvation, Lose 6-3

Today, on this Christian holy day (which just happened to coincide with Eric Milton's first start of the year), the Reds had a very important decision to make: pound the Pirates yet again or remember the tenets of God's teaching and put yourself not before Him. The team wisely chose the latter. The bats, for the most part, were silent. The bullpen was less frucking nasty than we've grown accustomed. And Milton, of course, did his part--lots of runners on base and even gave up a home run to Jack Wilson (*thanks Aaron). Very wise. The Pirates' decision to upstage the anniversary of the resurrection of Jesus, with their fancy hitting and effective pitching, will not soon be forgotten. Cincinnati opted for God's bounty, which evidently includes a lot of umbrellas (just imagine what one could do with all those umbrellas). Narron is not only a manager of his players' mortal bodies but a manager of their immortal souls. Tomorrow, assuming it is not another Christian holiday of which I'm not aware (seriously who can keep track), expect them to run over the snakes with God's four-wheeler.

1 comment:

Aaron said...

Hilarious analysis... but I should point out that Eldred's home run came off of Coffey. Milton surrendered a home run to Jack Wilson though which is pretty bad in itself. I think we'd all feel better with Livingston, Elizardo, Santos, or Homer Bailey as the number 5 starter instead of Milton. This is similiar to the Danny Graves situation. How many more times can we trot him out there to get pummeled before realizing his salary does not justify playing him?