Friday, April 6, 2007

P-Rats in Town

The Buccaners bring their rum and talking parrots and scurvy to town for three games starting this evening. Though, it may come as something of a suprise, they are fresh off a sweep of the Astros at their very nice ballpark which no one attends. The games were close and low scoring, which given that potent Pirates offense, is also surprising. With B-Lizzle getting his first start of the season, bumped up because Uncle Milty is still on the DL with tuberculosis (or a bad back, whatever it is), expect much of the same. Because many people may not be completely familiar with the Pirates lineup, the author has fed all players on the roster into Redsbot 5000 and has come up with tonight's starting lineup. It is as follows:

1. Chris Duffy CF - notable accomplishment from Pirates' home page, "Suffered a concussion during spring training after being hit in the head by a Curt Schilling pitch on 3/11."

2. Jack Wilson SS - everyone already knows his story and is not interested

3. Jason Bay LF - Canadian

4. Adam LaRoche 1B - I don't know how the Pirates won't be happy with this acquisition

5. Ronny Paulino C - may or may not love Menudo

6. Xavier Nady RF -I think everyone named Xavier can bend spoons with their mind

7. Jose Bautista 3B - one of many Joses

8. Jose Castillo 2B - filling in for Freddie Sanchez, seems to make Pirate fans mad

9. Paul Maholm P - author vaguely remembers an effective start against Cincinnati last year, expect a return to unrealized potential in 2007

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