Reds / Brewers

Today the Brewers come to town, and as the picture illustrates, Mr. Red has little tolerance for beer makers. Though Redsbot 5000 malfunctioned slightly when determining the Cubs lineup (who would have thought that a little swelling would keep Ramirez out of the lineup for the entire series), the glitches have been worked out. Here is the Brewers' starting lineup for tonight's unsuccessful attempt to solve the riddle which is Eric Milton.

1. Rickie Weeks 2B - author had always thought his first name was Richie

2. J.J. Hardy SS - along with brothers Frank and Joe, solved the mystery of the masked monkey

3. Prince Fielder 1B -plays the recorder beautifully

4. Bill Hall CF - his real name is William, something the author found quite interesting

5. Johnny Estrada C - can't wait for the summer re-release of Dirty Dancer. His cellphone greeting says, "No one puts Baby in the corner."

6. Geoff Jenkins LF - legally changed his first name from Jeff

7. Corey Hart RF - never gets tired of "Sunglasses at Night" jokes. Seriously, this guy's a great sport.

8. Tony Graffanino 3B - known to few, his secret identity is the Chorizo racing sausage

9. Chris Capuano P - from 2006 career highlights, "Slumped to 1-8 with a 5.17 ERA after the break, falling under .500 and watching his ERA balloon over 4.00 in his final start, a loss at St. Louis." And those are the highlights.