Get Well Junior

As Griffey sits out a third consective game with the flu, the Reds Rocket wants to take some time to wish him a hasty and full recovery. Not only because the offense has been anemic, but because without proper care such illnesses can easily turn into something much more serious, like pneumonia or a sprained quadricep or dislocated patella. Perhaps the author could recommend some minor blood work, just to make sure everything's ship-shape. There's actually a place that's not too far from the stadium. Don't worry, the phlebotomists [the nurse that jabs the needle in your arm] are very nice. Just tell them you know Tim Timmons, or better yet, tell them you're best friends with Tim Timmons. They'll treat you real nice. The author has actually lined up some additional community outreach for you when you get back healthy.

Hey Reds fans, I'm Ken Griffey Jr. here to remind you to take a strong armed approached to your health--beat the flu with plenty of fluids and bedrest! And Gooooo Reds!