Monday, April 16, 2007

Milton Gets the Start, Yeah!

Today, no doubt happy to be back in the friendly confines of the Great American Ballpark, Eric Milton gets his second start of the season against the Brewers. Known as "the man every man wants to be, and the man every woman want to be with," Milton dazzles fans lucky enough to witness him live. A true showman with a flare for the dramatic, Uncle Milty keeps the audience on the edge of its seat with elevated fastballs and hanging curveballs. Rather than censor himself so that he can appeal the the conservative baseball fans who want a well-pitched, low scoring ball game, he gives the fans what they want to see; offense and lots of it. Kyle Lohse, seriously, who wants to watch that guy dominate for eight innings? The answer is no one. That shit's boring and Milton knows that. We Reds fans have been spoiled over the course of his two plus season career in Cincinnati. Through his last start, he's given up 410 hits, 70 home runs in only 344 innings. Combine that with an ERA which has yet to drop below 5.10, you've got yourself a boxoffice draw. And can you believe that certain people have had the onions to say he's overpaid. Are you serious? If you think nine million dollars is going to get Eric Milton to settle down, raise a family and plant a garden in Cincinnati, you don't know the man or his leather pants. So next time when you're watching the game and you're about to yell "he missed Ross' mitt by three feet!" Think about it, he knows what he's doing and you love every minute of it.

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