Even though the author assumes that most of the readership is familiar (and rightfully despises) the Chicago Cubs team, the author doesn't have any better ideas this early in the morning. As has become the tradition, the roster of the Chicago Cubs has been plugged into Redsbot 5000 and here is today's starting lineup.1. Alfonso Soriano CF - pretty good
2. Jacque Jones RF - his mom sits in the stands and yells at the people who taunt her son (really, author saw it on Deadspin)
3. Derek Lee 1B - first major purchase after 2006 contract extension was kick ass Pontiac Fierro
4. Aramis Ramirez 3B - it was his idea for Randall Simon to hit that giant sausage with the bat
5. Cliff Floyd LF - author likes Cliff Floyd because when he's in the field it means the ever-dangerous Matt Murton is safely on the bench
6. Michael Barrett C - is saddened by the fact that Bob Barker is going to be leaving the Price is Right
7. Mark DeRosa 2B - seriously, I know the author has mentioned this before, but 3 years 13 million?
8. Cesar Izturis SS - thinks Neil Patrick Harris is hilarious
9. Carlos Zambrano P - can't wait for current season of Gilmore Girls to come out on dvd
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