Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Reasons to Like Ted Lilly

Today's Cub starter, opposite Arroyo, is Ted Lilly. As the respected purveyor of information that this site is, the author personally undertook the obligation of gathering and compiling data into a short list of Ted Lilly-related facts (or how about factoids?). With this information, the author hopes to demonstrate reasons why the average Reds fan need not fear or hate Lilly (save your hate for Ryan Dempster and Matt Murton).

1. Ted Lilly is a left-handed pitcher who, save 9 games with the Expos in '99, has pitched exclusively in the league of designated hitters and magic.

2. Last season Ted Lilly won a career high 15 games, his career stats look something like this:

3. You'll notice that Ted Lilly has a career era of 4.60 and a career record of 59-58.
4. This offseason the Cubs signed Lilly to a four year $40 million contract. I can't wait until next year when DeRosa and Lilly are still under contract for 2 and 3 years respectively. That front office is run by rhesus monkeys.

5. Last season up 8-0 in a game against Oakland, Lilly was tired of being effective and decided to give up some runs. After the seventh run of the third inning scored, Manager John Gibbons came out to yank him but Lilly refused to give him the ball. The two then got into a fist fight in the clubhouse. Well alright, that's the type of guy who belongs on the Cubs. With the years of losing and Pinella, I just hope Soriano somehow gets involved.

6. After signing with the Cubs, Lilly celebrated by getting a tattoo of his favorite musician (seriously, who doesn't have Clay Aiken on their chest), here's a picture:

So, there you go. Ted Lilly likes music (adult contemporary), has the name of a delicate yet beautiful flower, and even if the Cubs are up 8-0 in the third, there's no guarantee he's going to hold that lead. Seems like a pretty okay guy to me. On behalf of the Reds, I welcome you Ted Lilly. Enjoy that $40 million of stolen money.


NYRed said...

Whew! I feel better already!

The Last Unitard said...

Lilly = Milton